Can I Be Rude?

I have been raised to be a fair lady, respected and honoured for the courtesy, honour and dignity that runs deep into my soul and pumps with every heartbeat. I have be taught not to raise a tone of my voice, to avoid chaos at any circumstances and to make my family name proud. Yet today, I cannot hide the anger I feel inside, the frustration, the hurt and everything else that jumbles up into a feeling that could hardly be describe by words.

I think this entry might be a bit overdue. I should have write about what I felt months ago, when everything started. But then I met a friend and he told me that the issue was still there, I was like, "Can't they at least hear my side of the story???" I'm not good in getting mad at people, cause when I do, I'd be so mad that I'd cry! Urgh, and each time I cry, I'd feel like I've lost the battle. So I'd rather just dance it off or sing it off or go shopping with my friends. This is when I really feel that I need my Syazz and my Wafaa to get my head out of this mess! Please!!!

To start off with, if I am nice to you, it does not mean I like you. I am the type who easily gets comfortable with people and I like to engage in lengthy conversations. Furthermore, if you're a FAMILY FRIEND, I would treat you EVEN nicer and I'll be good to you. The reason why I gave YOU my number was you're a FAMILY FRIEND and I trust that you mean no harm and it's okay to be friends with you.

But no, guess people saw it the wrong way, and when we got close, people started saying that we were having something. PLEASE REFRESH MY MEMORY! On what basis do they have that they could simply say we were having something? OMG, just because I've passed the big two.O's every guy I meet will either be interested in me or I'll be interested in them??? The world doesn't revolves like that, and it definitely does not revolves around you and me!

When I invited to you to attend functions that I organize, it means that I think you're my FRIEND. If I effin' like you, I would have texted or called you every now and then, or show slight concern towards you. Or did I, and that made you confused. Again, you are a FAMILY FRIEND and that puts you on a higher lever as compared to my other friends, because, it's like you're FAMILY.

Whenever my parents introduce me to anyone new whom I never met before, I would be expected to entertain them. That's just it! I don't know what story you have in your mind, nor what intention you have. I don't even know the stories you've been telling YOUR parents and SIBLINGS and what makes some of them effin' hate me so much. Footnote, I NEVER liked you MORE THAN A FRIEND.

And please, to those brothers who think they know better than to arrange to people to be together just because now they're happily married with children or getting married soon or in a relationship that they think would last forever, please please PLEASE do NOT make any more speculations about me. I freaking know who I am, and honestly, from my eyes, you DON'T. You just met me like... A few times and wow, it's time to decide her future, so you think.

Please, I respected all of you. Please don't do this. Gossips are fine, but when they hurt other people, it gets nasty and ugly.

And to YOU. Congratulations, last I heard you had a girlfriend. =) Yay, am happy for you. But I still can't understand why you avoided me during that time just because you knew I hung out with someone close to you. Heavens, we weren't even dating! And you're my friend, you'd know better than to judge me like that. Or so I thought you were.

You're still my friend, and I still love you as my friend. =)