Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Being pretty & beautiful...

What does it mean to you???

For me, it means being yourself..

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

I just needed your hand

Sometimes you think you can trust a person. So that he or she will be honest in saying things to you. Or just create a reason to not hurt in return.

I don't have everything in the world. I just needed your help. You did not have to just shut me off like that. If you can't maybe you could give me the reason.

I thought we were friends.

Hands off, nothing personal, just a feeling inside.

Someone Loves You

Every Friday afternoon, after the Jumma prayers, the Imam and his eleven year old son would go out into their town and hand out "PATH TO PARADISE " and other Islamic literature.

This particular and fortunate Frid ay afternoon, as the time came for the Imam and his son to go to the streets with their booklets, it was very cold outside, as well as pouring rain.

The boy bundled up in his warmest and driest clothes and said, 'OK, dad, I'm ready!' His dad asked, 'Ready for what' 'Dad, it's time we go out and distribute these Islamic books.'

Dad responds, 'Son, it's very cold outside and it's pouring rain.' The boy gives his dad a surprised look, asking, 'But Dad, aren't people still going to hell, even though it's raining?' Dad answers, 'Son, I am not going out in this weather.' Despondently, the boy asks, 'Dad, can I go Please' His father hesitated for a moment then said, 'Son, you can go. Here are the booklets. Be careful son.' 'Thanks, Dad!' And with that, he was off and out into the rain.

This eleven year old boy walked the streets of the town going door to door and handing everybody he met in the street a pamphlet or a booklet. After two hours of walking in the rain, he was soaking, bone- chilled wet and down to his VERY LAST BOOKLET.

He stopped on a corner and looked for someone to hand a booklet to, but the streets were totally deserted.

Then he turned toward the first home he saw and started up the sidewalk to the front door and rang the door bell. He rang the bell, but nobody answered.. He rang it again and again, but still no one answered. He waited but still no answer. Finally, he turned to leave, but something stopped him. Again, he turned to the door and rang the bell and knocked loudly on the door with his fist.

He waited, something holding him there on the front porch! He rang again and this time the door slowly opened. Standing in the doorway was a very sad-looking elderly lady. She softly asked, 'What can I do for you, son?' With radiant eyes and a smile that lit up her world, this little boy said, 'Ma'am, I'm sorry if I disturbed you, but I just want to tell you that ALLAH REALLY LOVES AND CARES FOR YOU and I came to give you my very last booklet which will tell you all about God, the real purpose of creation, and how to achieve His pleasure.' With that, he handed her his last booklet and turned to leave. She called to him as he departed. 'Thank you, son! And God Bless You!'

Next week on Friday afternoon after Jumma prayers, the Imam was giving some lectures. As he concludes the lectures , he asked, 'Does anybody have questions or want to say anything?'

Slowly, in the back row among the ladies, an elderly lady's voice was heard over the speaker. 'No one in this gathering knows me. I've never been here before. You see, before last Friday I was not a Muslim, and thought I could be. My husband died few years ago, leaving me totally alone in this world..

Last Friday, being a particularly cold and rainy day, i was contemplating suicide as i had no hope left. So I took a rope and a chair and ascended the stairway into the attic of my home.. I fastened the rope securely to a rafter in the roof then stood on the chair and fastened the other end of the rope around my neck. Standing on that chair, so lonely and broken-hearted I was about to leap off, when suddenly the loud ringing of my doorbell downstairs startled me. I thought, I'll wait a minute, and whoever it is will go away.

I waited and waited, but the ringing doorbell seemed to get louder and more insistent, and then the person ringing also started knocking loudly.... I thought to myself again, 'Who on earth could this be? Nobody ever rings my bell or comes to see me.' I loosened the rope from my neck and started for the front door, all the while the bell rang louder and louder.

When I opened the door and looked I could hardly believe my eyes, for there on my front porch was the most radiant and angelic little boy I had ever seen in my life. His SMILE, oh, I could never describe it to you! The words that came from his mouth caused my heart that had long been dead TO LEAP TO LIFE as he exclaimed with a cherub-like voice, 'Ma'am, I just came to tell you that ALLAH (ie.The God)REALLY LOVES AND CARES FOR YOU!'

Then he gave me this booklet, Path To Paradise that I now hold in my hand. As the little angel disappeared back out into the cold and rain, I closed my door and read slowly every word of this book. Then I went up to my attic to get my rope and chair. I wouldn't be needing them any more.

You see? I am now a Happy Vicegerent of the One True God. Since the address of your congregation was stamped on the bac k of this booklet, I have come here to personally say THANK YOU to God's little angel who came just in the nick of time and by so doing, spared my soul from an eternity in hell.'

There was not a dry eye in the mosque. The shouts of TAKBIR...ALLAH AKBAR..(ie. God is greatest) rented the air. Imam-Dad descended from the pulpit to the front row where the little angel was seated..... He took his son in his arms and sobbed uncontrollably.

Probably no jama'at has had a more glorious moment, and probably this universe has never seen a father that was more filled with love and honor for his son... Except for One. This very one....

Blessed are your eyes for reading this message. Don't let this message die, read it again and pass it to others. Heaven is for His people! Remember, God's message CAN make the difference in the life of someone close to you.

Please share this wonderful message. Spread His Word, help Him and you'll see His hand in everything you do...

Qur'an 5:3: This day I've perfected your religion for you, and completed my favor on you, and chosen Islam (ie.Peace obtained by surrender to the will of God)for you as religion.... "

Izzudin Khairulannuar
Research Enterprise Office (REO)
17-02-13, Department of Mechanical Engineering
Universiti Teknologi PETRONAS
Class of 2005-2009

Monday, March 29, 2010


Anyone can help me print my stuff??? :((

Unstable Mood - Keep away!

Little Miss Juliet

Tonight I'm feeling super sleepy. The weekend had been hectic for me, and I hate it when my plans changes from one thing to another. I did not manage to go to the book fair, too many people and I spent most of the time with my sister. Being a sister-mother is my part time job now.

Looking for inspiration to study.. Where are you???????

Sleepy. Sigh.

Night people.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Summer Love and Autumn Goodbyes

He came into your life when you least expected it. Just with one smile your heart melts and you dream of being in his arms forever. But you're too shy to make the first move, or you doubt that it could last. Keeping the feeling to yourself.

What happens next?

He approaches you, says I and you gave your sweetest smile. The next thing you know you've having ice cream with him, laughing like there is no other day you would be happier.

Your feelings grow stronger and you think to yourself, "He is the one." One day, he said those words. 3 words, 8 letters, and you fell into his spell.

But he had to leave. Summer was almost over, Autumn peeking through.

You wonder if he'll come back. You shed your tears. He holds your hand and locks his eyes upon yours. He said, "Wait for me." And you nodded your head, allowing tears to stream down your rosy cheeks.

You waited. Days, weeks, months, years.

Will he come back? Is it worth the wait? Is love enough?

You don't know.

And you cry once more..

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Dear John

I bought this book last week at the airport after bidding goodbye to my parents who came back to Malaysia for the weekend. My baby sister is in boarding school, just registered the Wednesday before they came back, and they were so excited yet scared. Everyone's worried of her, but I guess things will eventually lighten up and be better.

I can't say this is my favourite novel of all time. Yes, over and over again, books and movies have manage to pressed into my weak side, shedding tears out of me. It took me some time to finish reading it, not because of the tears, but because I had a mid-posting exam which I had to study for that week, and I felt guilty every time I opened a page in that book.

Yet, I finished reading everything in the end at last. A beautiful love story, a rare one indeed. I know how we've always been fed by stories like happily ever after and it will be alright in the end. But trust me, this story give its readers a pinch of reality, though it still does have its fairy tale element in it.

Honestly, I cannot wait for the movie to be downloaded, since it is not released in Malaysia. I think it is because it has something to do with the war in Iraq, the invasion and so on. I genuinely hope that the movie would be if not better as good as the novel but sometimes you describe things better in word forms rather than a two hour movie. Yet I would still watch it and enjoy it, regardless. I know I should keep my expectations low so that I would be able to appreciate the movie.

Beautiful story, beautiful words. I hope there would be another book which would describe how Savannah felt.

If this were a true story, I would love to be able to write to both of them, Savannah and John, and this is what I would say:

Dear John,

I know that you've tried your best to keep the distance between you just as a stepping stone to be together with the girl you truly adore, and you believe that there is happy endings, or there would be if you ever hold on to your faith. But love is a feeling that needs to be nurtured in so many ways that you could not afford to. Being miles apart was not the only reason. But you cannot expect a person to love you unconditionally without even ever thinking about what will and could happen in the end. I know it is not fair for you, for you did not choose the life you led. But one day new love will arise, and even though in your heart you still truly love Savannah, just try to open your heart, and you'll learn to love again.

Dear Savannah,

I know how hard it is being away from the man you love. Feeling left behind, not knowing if you could trust the words he says or if his feelings for you are still the same. You might wonder if by the day, the feelings start to fade, and there are times when you feel like there's nothing there to hold on to. You cannot keep on fighting something you cannot see, nor could you feel. Falling in love for the second time was not your fault, though I believe that deep inside your feelings towards the first guy you loved could never be pushed away. Our heart is big enough for love. Even if a new one comes, it will not push the old ones away, but it would expand to give more space.

I have two most favourite quote from this book:

"If you come back, I'll marry you. If you break your promise, you'll break my heart"


"Love meant that you care for another person's happiness more than your own, no matter how painful the choices you face might be."

There are other beautiful lines in this book that I would love to share, but I would spoil everything. Deep inside, I truly believe in these two quotes and I believe that true love is out there for each and every one of us, no matter if we could or could not feel it.

Sunday, March 14, 2010


Today is just another day..
Seems just like yesterday.
But inside I'm not the same person I was yesterday.
I changed, with today.

Today I feel lonely
Not like yesterday

Today I'm more tired
And sad, and frustrated

How I wish I could be yesterday
When everything was smooth, calm as the ocean

Today I am who I am
Tomorrow I will never know.

Decided to share...

The song in my head since I watched Valentine's Day....

I can't find the video clip anywhere!!!! Maybe I'll share it with you.. someday :)

Today Was a Fairy Tale

Today was a fairytale
You were the prince
I used to be a damsel in distress
You took me by the hand and you picked me up at six
Today was a fairytale

Today was a fairytale

Today was a fairytale
I wore a dress
You wore a dark grey t-shirt
You told me I was pretty when I looked like a mess
Today was a fairytale
Time slows down whenever you're around

But can you feel this magic in the air?
It must have been the way you kissed me
Fell in love when I saw you standing there
It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale
It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale

Today was a fairytale
You've got a smile that takes me to another planet
Every move you make everything you say is right
Today was a fairytale
Today was a fairytale
All that I can say is it's getting so much clearer
Nothing made sense until the time I saw your face
Today was a fairytale

Time slows down whenever you're around
Yeah yeah

But can you feel this magic in the air?
It must have been the way you kissed me
Fell in love when I saw you standing there
It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale
It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale

Time slows down whenever you're around
I can feel my heart
It's beating in my chest
Did you feel it?
I can't put this down

But can you feel this magic in the air?
It must have been the way you kissed me
Fell in love when I saw you standing there
It must have been the way
But can you feel this magic in the air?
It must have been the way you kissed me
Fell in love when I saw you standing there
It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale
It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale

What a weekend!~

This weekend seems like the most tiring weekend of all. Ok, the most productive I would say if you do not consider studying. Basically, after the mid-posting exams I did not study AT ALL!!!!! Had to finish up my discussions for my case write-up and send it in to our supervisor, then all I wanted was a break. And yea, I totally got that one this week.

Oh, my little sister's back! Hahahaha.. After 10 days in boarding school, I finally picked her up from school. She is going to have a one week holiday. I never knew the roads in KL could be so congested, so I decided to leave home at 11. Mind you, I had the mid-posting exams at 3pm the same day!!! At the highway there was no traffic at all. Everything was ok till I reached..... erm... I'm not so sure which road!! Haha. So finally, a 30 minute journey was transformed into a one hour journey instead! But thankfully she was already able to leave school when I arrived. So it was a blessing in disguise. I suppose.

Do I look like I could be a mamma????? To a 16 year old? Urgh, that was what adik's friends asked her. Maybe it was because normally only mammas do the picking up, registering and so on. Haha. Something for me to learn how to be responsible though. And I'm happy :)

That night I went to watch the boys from my class playing futsal. Apparently adik and kakak went out to watch a movie in KLCC, so I had no company at home. Later, I hung out with Amar, my 'cousin'. Haha. Amar and I goes a long way, since SPM years. Lolz. He's such a good friend, but a mean one too :P Anyway, he's leaving in September 'I think' as he's a student in IMU and is under the twinning programme. It's been a while since I hung out with him.

Saturday adik, Ammar, Amar, Fifi, Miza and I went to Ikea for lunch!!!!! Ngeeeeee... me love it! We also went shopping for adik's books and spent like RM**0 for it!!!! OK, there goes my wallet. 'Mummy!!!! I want REFUND!!!' Adik wanted to watch Alice in Wonderland but it was full so we just hang out at the Kopitiam, went around at the Curve, Ikano, Ikea and Cineleisure.

And guess what??? We bumped into Bella and Fido!!!! Haha. Bella is adorable as always, Fido, you look thinner!! Not eating well in Seremban are you???

Today I'll be sending off adik to the airport. Her flight to Kelantan is at 1.40. Ammar's leaving to Terendak, Amar not coming today, wallclimbing tomorrow. So I guess I'll have my own sweet time to tidy up my room and do some chores I've been procrastinating. But I think I'm tired. Maybe I'll get a good nap first. It's gonna be the 5th week of my posting next week, and I have to start to be really studying!!! Gosh!

Monday, March 8, 2010

Taj Mahal

I can die tomorrow and have something like this on me. I quote Queen Elizabeth after seeing with my own eyes the beauty of Taj Mahal. Wonderful, magnificient, enchanting.i couldn't find the right words to put, to express my feeling upon seeing the Taj. It is indeed a symbol of true love, a love that even death cannot break apart. Walking through the gates to enter one of the wonders of the world, I was thinking to myself, how could one love another so much and give everything in the world to her, even after death.

The Taj Mahal was built by the Moghul Emperor, Shah Jehan for his beloved wife, Mumtaz Mahal after she passed away giving birth. Mumtaz Mahal was a title given by the Moghul Emperor, her real name was Arjumand *I did not get her full name*. She died in the year of 1630 and the Taj Mahal was began to be built in the year 1631. It took 22 years to built it which is represented in the 22 minaret build around it.

Heaven on Earth, so they say. The architecture of Taj Mahal was inspired by the Holy Quran. It is not built in a square nor rectangle but it is built in an octagon shape, where in the Holy Quran it is said that there are 8 doors to heaven. It is also said that there are 4 rivers surrounding heaven - the river of honey, milk, nectar and perfume, thus, the garden surrounding the Taj Mahal is supplied by four different water supply. The four pillars surrounding the Taj is built slant towards the outside, so that in case of any earthquakes, it will not fall towards the Taj.

So they say that Shah Jehan chopped off the hands of everyone who worked for him for the Taj. He did not chop of their hands literally. After the Taj was built, he was extremely happy and offered a contract to everyone who worked with him, stating that he will pay them for the rest of their lives and that they will not have to work with anyone else anymore. It was in other point of views cutting their hands. A man who loved his wife so much couldn’t be such a cruel man.

Being there, mesmerized by its beauty made me think that nothing in this world could be more meaningful than to spend it with someone that you love.

I wish I could go to the era where the Taj Mahal was built and witness with my own eyes how they made the magic happen. But today I am lucky enough to at least see the Taj Mahal in front of my eyes.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Kids and Everything Else

Currently in peadiatrics posting, honestly, I'm loving it. I was always fond of children, finding myself lost in their world. Sometimes I wonder how would it feels like when there is nothing there to be worried about, when everything is just about playing, laughing and crying. But you don't cry because your heart hurts. you just cry because you're hurt, literally, or you don't get a toy that you want.

It breaks my heart to see kids in pain, especially when they smile at me as I examine them. They're so cute, why do they need to suffer so much. When I touch a newborn baby who is just a few days old, I feel so calm that all my problems fade away.

I was under so much stress these few days, my adik crying everyday wanting me to pick her from her new school. Oh, she just registered into boarding school. I really hope she'll like it there. Yes, it need time to adjust, and I believe she will.

I also have some none-issue stuff that bothered me these days. In the end, it's just me again, right? So why bother.

I've been playing around so much in this posting, and next week is already mid-posting exam. Oh, kill me now!!!!!!

I'm getting a new nephew!!!!! Yay!!!!

Any plans next week, oh I know, wall climbing - AGAIN! Having so much fun with Nina, Syaz, Amar, Ammar, Fifi and Ferdi :)

Maybe I should stop here and start with my case writeup. And I also have reflection diary and LOADS to study!!!!!!!

Current location - Melaka.
Everyone's here. I mean, most of us. Mama, Kak Anje, Aty, Bapak. My parents are also back for the weekend. Haih. Seeing my sister cry in boarding school really made me worry. Anyway, I realize that I too sometimes still cry when I'm homesick. Guess it's normal after all. Thanks - YOU for reminding :P

My India trip was awesome, will update more about it later :) and Taj Mahal was magnificent!!!! Just love it!!!

Iqah, I miss you!
Eri, need to see you!!! 911!!!
Syai & Mel, yes, now you can treat me for dinner and lunch.

Need to get in the study mood. Haih.. :(

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

I hate you... Not..

I don't hate you, not anymore and I never did, I think. It's just that sometimes I feel sorry for you, living in denial and confusion which will in the end consume yourself and those close to you. You try to hide what you feel, not realizing that it shows even more, and you try to act like nothing happens when the truth is, and it’s not even close. You shut yourself from the world, trying to blame each and every other person but yourself. Have you not realize that there are people who care sincerely, without asking for anything in return. Or maybe if you had the courtesy, all you can do is show a little act of gratitude. A smile each day, a simple act of kindness. Will it kill? Maybe not. It won’t even make someone to fall in love with you, it takes more than that. Boundaries are everything, you need to know your limit, act what you are and be yourself. Don't ever pretend, trying to take advantages upon people who actually helped you in some way or another. Without them, you won't be the person you are standing today. I may mean nothing to you, just another person that may cross your path in life, and maybe one day you'll even forget who I am. But it doesn't matter, it means nothing. Leaving is my middle name, I'm born to do that. But the memories will stay, what you did will linger on, till it fades with the dust of time. And each time I look at you, each time your eyes settles down on mine, I will remember what happened that day. I will never forget what you did, what you said. But someday it will only be a distant memory that will be laughed upon. I still care, don't ever say I did not. It was just not meant to be, not even in a different lifetime. Things are not just a smooth sail through a calm ocean. You ask me to say the words I can never find myself to say, no, I cannot. How could I do that when it is not my right? I don't want things to get ugly, no. I want things just to be as it was before. You asked me if I like you. Yes, I do, I like you a lot. But will it change anything? No. So stop pretending that you are such saint, be a person who would stand for their belief and what they feel. Maybe it’s the most important part of all, to just be you. I respected you, don’t let me lose that too. I wish I never knew you, but knowing you was and is still the best part of the episodes in my life. Thanks of one small simple episode you brought to me and brought sunshine to my life, even if it was just for a split second. I hope one day you'll fine the one who will shine in your life forever.