Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Of Syawal

In life, we often forget what means to us the most and we get busy with the daily activities that fills our schedule. We forget that time passes us so fast that if we don't appreciate what we have today, we might not have the time tomorrow.

The whole month of Ramadhan has taught me a lot about appreciating the small things in life, as there are times when we overlook these small things and take them for granted.

This Ramadhan, I learnt about lost, of how hurtful it would be not being able to celebrate Eid with the person you love, and knowing that you will never see them again. It's been long since I lost someone close, and though I see people pass away on a daily basis, the feeling will never be the same. I pray that those who have lost will be strong, and know that their loved ones are surely the chosen ones :').

I also learn about the meaning of being lonely. This is the first time I'm alone, as I usually have Kakak around, and the truth is, I haven't wake up for my sahur for quite a few days. I will wake up, chew a cooking, drink some water and that's it. I used to be someone who needs to take sahur, but somehow this year, I'm just not in the mood. Thankfully Grizzly was there, so there were times when he comes to have sahur with me downstairs or drives to a nearby restaurant, and yes, Amar, who is always insisting me to go to Rasta TTDI which is like so far! oh well, you're leaving in a few days, so I'll see you anyway.

Even Eid this year is different. Not being able to wish a few people breaks my heart, but I'm grateful to have the people who are around me. Those people who pushed me to stand up when I thought of giving up, and those who would help me bring myself back together. These people are the ones who have always believe in me.

I also believe that Eid is the time for forgiving, if not the whole year. I'm not perfect, and I'm bound to make another million mistakes or so, I hope everyone can help guide me through this stage called life. I texted s few people I haven't text in ages, trying to amend broken friendships. I hope this will pay off, in one way or another. Whatever the outcome is, I'm glad I finally found the courage to do so.

And to that one person who I don't have the number, I'm sorry for hurting you. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me, and we can be friends, as I would never want to lose s great friend like you.

I really hope this Eid brings tranquility to everyone, and that we give a chance to each other, to forgive, to forget, and most importantly, a chance for ourselves.

Eid Mubarak.

Friday, August 26, 2011

Holiday + Raya Shopping Spree

I never thought this day would come. Holidays! Hahaha. Such and exaggeration, but that was how I felt as I was talking to Era about the raya and holiday plans made for this one week holiday. I've finished my PMD and PMS this week, which means I'm only kept with EMB writeup and studying to do.

Mummy called asking for the lost of ingredients I would want her to buy to make our raya goodies. Hehe. Got the recipe from mama, and excited to try it out!

Anyway, part of my to do list is to go blog hopping again. Been ages since I've read other people's writings and I kinda miss it :( . That is IF I have time. A lot of other things to do during this one week, please don't pass by too fast! Huuuu.. Need to read update from Miss Wafaa and Vivy, haih, I'm so out of date these days!

And today, is the day for my raya shopping. I will finally stroll through the stores to find a nice outfit to be worn on Eid. Excited? You bet. Thankfully grizzly will drive, and I won't have to worry about the massive traffic in KL. Please be nice to me later, okay?

And yes, a date with Era later. :)

A friend of mine just got her heart broken. And the excuse was because she's too good for him? *me am puzzled* but he said he loves her. And now he's on his knees begging her to come back.

My advice?

Love is not enough. Sometimes you love someone so much that you will be so vulnerable to that person, and your heart will bleed for the smallest things. And when something keeps on bleeding, it will heal with fibrous tissues and scars, and you can never be the same again. Your heart wont have enough blood, end up in tissue ischaemia and necrosis. =p Don't hang on too much on love, as heart changes. Don't assume things will get better, they won't. You deserve much more than that. Besides, we're not that desperate. And promises are to be kept even it is not spoken of anymore. :)

And you, please leave her alone, or I'll shove my fist down your throat. I know you'll be reading this anyway.

Be strong Sayang. Love you to bits! Call me, okay?

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Ray a Hair

In less than one week ago I finally gathered up my courage and went to the saloon for a haircut. Haha. Too much exaggeration there I suppose. Heeee. Well, I've been busy since final year commenced and I postponed my trip to the saloon for about a thousand times. I've been wanting a haircut since I was in London. Need to get rid of all the hair that was once curled. Too dry edy lor...

Anyway, I did nothing new actually. No curls, perms or whatsoever, just a straight cut. Didn't even rebonded my hair. 4 hours in the saloon would be a waste to my precious time, maybe next time, maybe never, I don't really mind anymore. And I had a great Iftar at ikea with the Ramadhan buffet offer after. So life's good :)

Looking into the mirror now, I immediately saw myself as an 11 year old kid. Even Omar said so. Oh well. Better look younger than older, right? *me convincing myself*

I can't upload pictures here as I haven't sync my photo album to this application. Maybe I'll upload them in my raya post :) hehe. Those who knew me since forever would probably know how I look like right now. Haha.

I've got a few to do's before going back this weekend, which includes presentations and a trip to the post office. Bought Mika his birthday present and I would want it to arrive on his birthday, God willing :) And yea, laundry. Hihi

Raya mood is affecting everyone. Feel so lazy to actually enter the ward! Hiks.

Ps: loving the new feeling on my finger :) now there's two! Hahahaha

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Step 1

When I was young, I used to be that girl you see in a dress with a tiara in her head, dreaming of her prince charming riding my in a white stallion, saving her from an evil dragon.

As years went by, I learn that fairytales don't exist, and that they are just imaginations. No one is gonna save you, no one will care. When you love, you have to sacrifice your heart and feelings, and keep everything inside. I learnt that love is sacrifice and that nothing will be gained without it.

And I was hurt and hurt all over again. I thought it was wrong for me wanting something for myself, demanding my own happiness. I thought I had to just go with the flow and listen to the needs and wants of everyone else except myself.

Then something happened, and made me evaluate my view of life, of love, and friendship. I've always told myself that love is enough, when deep down I know it is not. And I learn to live and embrace that reality. If you can't be there in person, you can't be there at all.

Today I'm writing my own fairytale. It might not involve dragons, or horses, or a wicked witch, but it sure does involve less tears and unlimited happiness. Sometimes you do need tears to make you stronger, but you need happiness more to be able to pull yourself together and to be able to stand up and smile again. You can't live with that gloomy face forever, nor could you survive being always happy.

I've taken the step, and I'm not turning back.

And right now, I wish to be at 57, Purley Park Road.

Done with step one. Baby steps to step two :)

Counting days to April. Exams first though -.-

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Dream Shoes

Yesterday I went to KLCC with dear Pink for some spectacle shopping. Well, not really shopping as we ended up buying nothing, but we went to almost all the optical shops in the mall. Super fun, really :)

Then I went into my favorite shop, and immediately fell in love with the wallet I found. Such soft calf skin. Haih, if only I had the money to buy the whole set, which would cost me more than three months of salary. Not that I'm working though. Hahaha.

Oh well, I was going online surveying the factory outlet for that particular designer. And I fell in love with a pair of red flats! OMG they were just so pretty. And after conversion, it costs half than the price in the boutique in Malaysia.

Would I buy it?

I don't know. Should I?

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Nine Lives

As usual, I'm a huge fan of TV series. Being home alone, I guess I really have nothing better to do than just continue to stream my YouTube or whatever websites that would help me watch the series online.

Currently my usuals are on break, so I'm on Pretty Litter Liars :) a really nice show though some of my friends think otherwise. Oh well, better to have it than nothing to pass time, right?

Currently I'm watching another two series along with PLL

The nine lives of Chloe King

It's about some mystical creatures that lives among human but could never be together, or something like that -.- .. Oh well, the guy, Alek is cute and I think Chloe is adorable though there are times when I would just strangle her!!!!

It is episode 9 this week :) and I am so looking forward for Alek and Chloe to be together. He's so cute, if you don't want to be with him, can I have him instead? Lol.

Switched at Birth

I've just watched a few episodes of this series. Rather depressing, but kinda nice. Been trying to finish till the current episode, but I end up doing something else instead.

It's about two girls who were accidentally switched at birth. As usual, one is from a freaking rich family and the other is..... Just okay. So the drama and the trouble comes in and so on. It's a light watch tho. :) it is nothing like the other series where I'd wait for hours just to watch it. It is the 'if I have tim' shows :)

Can't wait for next month.

Questions discussed in Oxford that are yet to be answered:
1. Is Blair pregnant?
2. Is it Chuck's baby?
3. What is really happening to Serena's cousin?
4. And the list goes on and on....

Yes, I know that you would think I had nothing better to talk about in Oxford than Gossip Girl, but almost all students in Oxford watches it! Makes me feel belonged during the formal dinner we had :) hehehe

And yes, waiting for Vampire Diaries and Glee as well.

Will Glee 3D be any good? If only school reopened in July I would've stayed for the concert! :(

Anyway, I'm done with my second posting.

Next week will be super eventful.
1. Going to surgeryyyyyyy!!!!!!
2. Almost Eid!

I'll update about the third event soon okay? Just wish me luck and pray for the best.

Reunions coming up! I miss my college + school days so much! Everyone have change, a lot. And yet the world is still going round, and life is still going on.

And me? Life is good :) Alhamdulillah

Appreciate Ramadhan while it is here. May it bring change to all :)

Monday, August 8, 2011


I've been out of inspiration lately. Becoming lazier day by day. And yes, I know I'm killing myself softly with this attitude.

But thanks to a dear friend who inspired me. And someday I wanna be where you are, or better.

Thanks doctor (you really should get used to that by now), and I miss you a lot!

And thanks for seeing beyond the manja and gedik self of me :) I am truly inspired. You are definitely someone I can look up to and count on!

Ps: Grizzly, thanks for being there too :)

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Left Out

Yes, that is how I really feel. But apparently no one cares. Not in the past, nor could anyone in the future. Maybe it is time for me to turn my heart to steel and never feel again. Maybe, things would be better that way. Maybe, I'll learn how to survive, by not caring in return.

Did you know that?

what i learnt from an old friend

1. conversations regarding the weather predominates
2. identifying accents in every new person you meet
3. survive with unseasoned boiled vegetables
4. queue everytime, even without a queue
5. say 'Cheers' for gratitute, appreciation and for a toast
6 when 'I am disappointed' literally means ' I am fucking mad'
7. anglicising

Wishing you all the best in work life smart boy. And feel free to treat me for dinner!!! :)

*Missing a hell lot of my college life*