Monday, August 9, 2010


Just a 5 letter word, a simple word, yet the meaning of it is understood less by many. Sometimes when you easily give it away, to every single person you encounter in life, they will use it against you, trying to bring you down with each opportunity available. How these cold-hearted people could even live with warm blood running through their veins, I really wonder.

I learn not to trust everyone close to me, the real cold and hard way. Sometimes you just have to learn things the other way round, so it will stick into your head and remain there for eternity. You just have to go through all the aches and pain the world could give to at last find a true friend, someone who will be there for you, and will stick by your side. The person might not be the same person you held hands when you were young, might not be the same person you tried to comfort when the world turns its back on her, might not be the same person you once stood up for. It might just be a stranger, brought to you by life in an event called destiny. You might have not thought that he or she could be the one, but then with God's will, you find out, and you have a true friend.

I am NOT perfect. I have never been, never will be. There are times I need reminders, there are times I need guidance. Sometimes, I feel like it is a sin not being able to put your feet on the ground, when all around you people are hanging too. It is so bad to lose control, loose your touch for just a split second, not recognizing who you are? Is it wrong wanting to cry out loud, being the baby or child you were once before.

I have hurt, and been hurt countless of time. Its life, nothing complete without its own bitter and sweet, sugar and spice. Everyone has their own opinion, own attitude towards a certain matter, I definitely have mine. Could it be so wring to stand up to my own beliefs and just be who I am? I'm not trying to dictate anyone to follow or be who I am, could you just leave me alone.

And yes, sincerity comes into play. You thought a person is genuine, tells you stuff, and expects you to do the same. All they care about is what, not why. It doesn't matter. All they want is to have a nice gossip over tea, and then judging will come in handy. Oh, we think you shouldn't this and shouldn't that, but we're not telling you. We're just telling each other cause you're not worth telling. Wow, such friends right.

One day you people will learn the hard way of life, not getting everything you want, being left out, and being cursed by the day you were born. That day you will look back and wonder, this is how it feels to be an outsider in a place you call home, to be a stranger to people you call friends. Oh, by the way if you think people don’t know, they will eventually find out. It’s just a matter of time. I was not looking for it, I just happen to stumble upon it, other people might too.

Everyone around you is your enemy. They just want to hurt you, bring you down, and celebrate the day you will be walking looking down at the dirt on your shoes, not being able to look up ever again. I wonder who taught me that. Anyway, it's true.

I wonder who you think you are when you dictate people not to befriend others, when you spread rumours about people and then act as if you are so pious and the word is unfair towards you. Face it; life, world, and everything in between will never be fair. Maybe you should grow up a little, open your eyes a little, have faith a little. Maybe, just maybe then, you will try to treat others as equals, and emphasize more. Nope, it's not your fault for feeling that you are too good for others. Oh, you didn't notice that it was the signal you're sending to everyone? Then maybe I'm the one being prejudice toward you, and if it's true, then I'm sorry, really from the bottom of my heart.

I've found my secret keeper. I hope this one is for life.

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