Thursday, August 19, 2010

Hold On

I can only get a glimpse of what you're going through, I can never understand the pain, the suffering and the sorrow in your hearts. I can never put myself in your shoes, I can never imagine myself carrying the burden you've been carrying for all these time. I know it has been too long, I just know. And I know you longed for the day it will all end, and the day you will finally see the ray of sun shining through the sky.

Everything happens for a reason. No matter how crushed you are, how bad things turn to, how lonely you might feel you are, just remember that there will always be a greater power up there who is controlling all the beings, controlling everything that happens, and nothing happens just simply. No one will understand, yet time will show. It will slowly teach you how to get up and fight, it will be your amour, your sword, your shield. And you'll be stronger by each passing second.

You've been through a lot and you wonder how to survive another day not knowing what will happen. You're scared of tomorrow and of its uncertainties that it brings, you long for comfort, protection and safety. At night, it's difficult even to close your eyes, as you do not want tomorrow to come so early. It makes you vulnerable not knowing, it makes you fragile not being able to predict, it makes you helpless with all the uncertainties. But another day dawns, another night is over. Can't you see that you've survived, you've made it through yet another night. Deep inside, you strength is building inside you, without you knowing, and one day, you'll realize that you are ready to face tomorrow no matter where it may lead you.

Sometimes things make a turn, to the better, or to the worst. They say that if things get worst, it means you only have to wait a little while longer for everything to be okay, as they took the long way to find you. I believe in destiny, though I don't know still what is installed for me. I know you do to. I hope this time it's a turn for the better, a blessing in disguise. We might not see it right now, but sooner or later, things will be alright. And I have always prayed that it'll be sooner.

Do you know that it breaks my heart to see you so vulnerable, when all I can do is just listen to you, helpless, not knowing how to make things right? Do you know it makes me feel worthless, like I should not even get in between and mingle with what you are facing, as I would not even have a slight idea of how to make you feel better. Do you know it hurts me to not be able to offer my help, as I don't know what to give, and that I feel so lost not being able to help. Each time you break down, all I could ever think of is just to hold you tight, to protect you from all the sufferings that succumb you, to save you from being drawn into it further than you already are. I always wished, hoped and prayed that my love for you would be enough to heal your broken heart, to cure your pain and be the remedy to the poison that is haunting your life.

Speechless as I am to all your problems, I appreciate the trust you gave me. I know it's hard for you to confide into someone, and I know it took a lot of your strength just to trust me and tell me everything. I know it hurts to be telling the same tale over and over again, when all you want is for everything to be just a bad dream, and you want to wake up to a day where it had never happen before, where everything is left, the dream catcher has done his job. Yet you are stuck in reality, and you realize there's no simple way out than to face the demons that has been haunting you, to fight back.

I can't promise I will ever understand, or even get to feel a percentage of what you're feeling. I can never be you. I can never even wish to be you. All I can promise is that I will always be here when you need me, a shoulder to cry on. My arms will be wide open to embrace you, to hold and protect you. I will never leave you, I will never abandon you, no matter how you try to push me away. And I will love you, now, always and forever, till whenever it may be, and I'll do whatever it takes to bring your smile back, and put your heart in peace.

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