Thank You Prof!!

Today is the last day our beloved Prof Nasa will be in the college. After this, he will start to serve at MSU. His resign was a shock to all of us. We found out through a slip of tongue from another lecturer.

Today, we decided to throw him a surprise farewell party. It's the least we can do, to show our gratitude towards him.

The party was simply, but as perfect as can be.

Dear Prof,

You might not read this at all, since I don't even know if you have the slightest idea about this blog. But I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart for being the most understanding and caring lecturer. You have guided me through difficult times, when I needed a friend to talk to, a father to scold me and a teacher to teach me. Words alone may not even come close to show how much you've done for all of us, but believe me prof, we will prove to you one day that we will make you proud, proud for teaching us and proud to call our names. We love you, Prof Nasa, and personally, I hope you will find whatever it is you are looking for, and may you find peace and success in life.

Love,
Nana

It's difficult to let someone that has helped you so much to go. But goodbyes are not forever. One fine day, God willing, we'll meet again. Definitely.

Just need to let something out

I never thought that it would hurt after all this time. The memory came swaying by, running through my mind, like a tape played on and on again, not wanting to stop. I tried to pressed stop, I thought I pressed delete, I thought at least I made it paused for a short while, at least to make it mean nothing to me. But it's not that simple, and it hurts. You might not know, you might not care. Weather you notice or not brings little significance to me. It changed then, it's not the same now. Full stop.

If only it's as easy as this song right now...

The Gift of Life

I am currently in my second week and day 2 in obstetrics and gynecology posting. This week, we are divided into three groups, two groups will be in ward 2A and 2B while the other group will be in the labour room. Our rotation is for 2 weeks, so by the 6th week, each of us has a taste of each venue.

Honestly, I was scared to enter the room. A lot of stories have been heard of how painful labour is, how people will be crying out of pain and the voices of people cheering them to push harder. Even in movies we have been entertained with such scenes like delivery and everything related to labour.

I am now posted in the labour room. Yesterday, I witness a labour in front of my very own eyes. All that I could think of then was - miracle. Mothers fight so hard to bring their babies to life, without knowing what the future has planned for them. All of them put their lives in danger just to give the gift of life.

And tears streamed down my cheeks.

During on call, I witness another woman who was about to enter the operation theater to undergo cesarean section. She kissed her husband's hand and her husband kissed her forehead, a simple act that showed true love really exists in times like this. It's a wonder how a little baby can bring so much joy to a loving couple.

Being in Obgyn makes me realize a lot of things, but most importantly is to love your parents. They did everything they could for us, all we could do is to be good children for them :)

Maybe, one day, I would want to have my own 'little me'. Someday. Not now.

When In Rome

I watched this movie last night. I haven't watch any movie in ages since all my weekends are used up being a mamma and on Fridays usually I would go wall climbing with my mates. Realizing that a part of me is missing *hikhik* since I am way beyond the movie league in my class with Wafaa always updated about the latest movies, I thought, maybe I should take a break from going climbing on Fridays, instead, I go enjoy myself at the malls :)

I did some shopping at first, and after that I realize that I would literally make my cupboard fall apart with all of that :( But never mind, I was happy and content. Maybe I could do another clean up before moving out, and once I get my own cupboard in my new home, everything should be in order. I still have some stuff in my wish list. Anyone wants to make it come true? Anyway, I'm not planning to spend all my money, not just yet, since I realize that it is important to have some savings in case of any emergencies. So there are some stuff that I plan to buy next week and next month, depending on the price range. LOLz:P


Okay, now back to When in Rome. It is a simple love story, about a girl too busy with her work and wanted to find someone that she loves more than her work! She was always unsuccessful in love, and each time she falls in love, she will just wait for when the next shoe will drop and when the relationship will fall into pieces. What happens next? Clearly I would hate to give out any spoilers, so to everyone, it's a light movie, worth watching. It's not a GREAT or WOW movie, it's just a movie that will make you laugh in the cinema and smile your way to the parking lot. It will let you out from all the trouble you had for the whole week, and be in a magical world, where magic and love do exist.

So to sum it all up, what have I learned from this movie??

• Never stop believing in love, you would never know when your luck will change and you find someone that will swipe you off your feet
• Love has no guarantees. The beauty is in it's challenges, and that is what that makes you stronger
• If you find the right person for you, open up to him or her. If your heart gets broken, there's always someone better somewhere.
• Being in love is magical, and it could be hurtful. Which ever comes your way, it's life.

I have always wanted to go to Rome. I've been seeing pictures and movies about it, even read about it in my history class. Recently I've checked the ticket price for a trip to Rome, seems like I wont be going there any time soon. Maybe after I've graduate I'll gather up a few friends for a Euro trip. I know some of them are already planning. Or maybe, I'll just go there with the love of my life, someday. *winks*

I have a friend who had the chance to differ her studies and see the world for a year. I wish I have chosen that before, but well, I don't regret where I am right now. There's too much in life I would not want to miss. Life is just once. Live it.

Besties Reunite!

At last, after four months graduating, Eri finally found time to meet me. I know I love you more than others do, Eri, but you would've considered meeting me at least a few months back!!! Haha. Anyhow, I love you anyways, and you know why! Ngeh!

The reunion was brief, she came from UIA, there was a debate match there. Being an ex-best-speaker, I know she always had the passion for debates and public speaking.

Eri and I go back a long way, ever since I was in high school. There are too many secrets shared! *winks*

Anyway, hungry Eri brought me to Nando's for an early dinner =)

Dear Eri,
Good luck for your interview. Can't wait to be treated for the next meal. I'm still studying remember.

My Eri and I, 10 years and counting...

It's Raining...

Have you ever noticed how your emotions could be influenced by the weather. I definitely have. Not to say that rainy days will normally bring tears, or would sunny days bring smiles, but sometimes the condition outside effects how I feel, what I'm thinking of and who I miss at that particular moment.

It's the second day of Obgyn and I have a 2-day-mc :) I'm not really excited since it's all about the introduction and Obgyn is definitely different from the previous postings. Peaditrics may be about kids, but this time it's about pregnancy and everything that comes with it.

Maybe if I feel better tomorrow I'll just enter class. Entering the ward may risk the mothers to get infected, though I do not think it is infectious anyway, but going for lectures is a definite yes. Besides, I'm presenting tomorrow.

It's raining cats and dogs outside. When I was a little girl, I would normally cry to the thunder and ask my daddy to put a piece of cloth underneath the door so that the thunder and lightning won't catch me. I will snuggle myself on mummy's bed in their big duvet and try to sleep. Each time the lightning strikes, kakak and I will scream! Haha. Those were the days. Though I am still scared of lightning and thunder today, I do not put anything beneath my door anymore =P

I really miss home. I'm going back for the weekend to mama's! Yay!!

Adik's having her diagnostic examination. Whatever that means. Good luck Adik! I love you =)

Other things to do:
1. Go to SSP to help out with the concert
2. Start studying for Obgyn
3. Make a new budget
4. Get started with my *business*

A Decade of Love

I've always enjoyed reading. Books, no matter how lengthy can always entertain me. I definitely have a few of them which I prefer to read over and over again.

I remember when I was young I would literally force my parents to read to us story books before going to bed. And eventually, that is the habit I carry to this very day. Sometimes on nights I cannot sleep I will simply grab a book and read it till my eyes eventually get heavy. But sometimes I will read a book till it finishes no matter how sleepy I am or what time it is.

Advice: Don't buy a new book when exams are coming!

Anyway, today I have officially finished the third installment for the novel written by a famous writer - Ahadiat Akashah. Most of the people my age will know him, all his novels are legends. They are what we've read when we were younger and still read till this very day.


I was just 10 or 11 when I brought home the first installment - Lagenda Budak Setan.

It's a love story beautiful beyond words, about a love so strong that it could overcome everything. And in the end, it is true - till death do us part. Love and lost. The love triangle between Ayu, Kashah and Katerina brought smiles and tears simultaneously to me while reading. It's always something I have believe in, true love can never die. No matter how you try to forget a person, he or she will always have a place in your heart.

True love? I don't know if a love ever existed, I would want to witness or own one some day.

The novel wasn't mine, it was my friend's from primary school. A few years back, I found the very same book in a store and immediately bought it!! I have a thing for the books I like, and I would not hesitate even a single moment to own it.

Anyway, I cannot remember exactly when did I read the second installment for the book - Katerina. Again, it is about love and how your soul just sink deep into it, and in the end you're lost, without knowing how to resurface. Adik has also bought this book recently at the Book Fair in PWTC =)

I found out about the third installment just recently and I went to every book store I could find, asking if they would have the book. The book was published in 2005, five years ago, so it was rather difficult for me. I know some book stores in KL which would most probably have it, but I was at my hometown then.

Today, I finally found the book while accompanying my Adik to buy some books. Started reading it at about 6pm, at 11.15pm I finished it all. *minus taking a bath, eating and being human =P* The title - Kashah, Lagenda Berakhir. My emotions ran wild while reading the book. It included laughter and tears, and definitely did not let me put it down before finishing it. Sorry to whoever who tried to call or text =P

The legend is over, it has come to an end. What the ending is, I would keep it as a secret, as I believe that there are those still interested in reading it.

The first book is now turned into a movie with Farid Kamil, Lisa Surihani and Fazura *I love her!! Oh my Dior!~* in it. Anis, can you ask your brother if I could attend the premier screening??? I will watch ALL his movies after this!! I promise!! Haha.

This is the trailer of the movie. There are some scenes which are different, and even I suspected so. But I am so looking forward for this movie! It will definitely be good. 3rd June 2010....

Knowing

Some things are kept secret for a reason. You never mean to hurt someone. Some people call it a white lie, just to keep the truth from coming out. some people call it to be saints in disguise, for me, it's just a simple act of courtesy to another person. There's certain things in life that you are not meant to know, and if you try to find out, it will tear you up.

Knowing things can sometimes be good and sometimes be bad. For instance, if you found out something you weren't suppose to know, it will end up hurting you in the end. Some people just have secrets with one another, till they really believe that the other person is trustworthy and could accept them the way they are

Being nosy and questioning too much when it's not your game will make you end yourself in despair, confusion and tears your heart into pieces.

Sometimes you might find out things that are not meant for you to know. And things get worst when you react towards it. All you have to do is to maintain a steady grip and hold your head up high. You might not think you're giving in, but being all emotional without considering others might just indicate that you've put up the white flag.

You might want to protect yourself, trying to find other reasons, trying to point your fingers to other people. To you, others just don't have the right to do so, they're insensitive, ridiculous and impossible. But don't you realize that it shows how weak you are. Being in a game is not bad, It gets bad when you don't know your role in it, and try to be in other people's shoe. You think you are in a different position, in denial of who you really were. Well, that's your mistake.

Anyway, sometimes knowing can be beneficial. Like getting to know who a person really is, how friends really are or anything in between.

But in terms of love, it's either you know things you've already known, or just leave it. The truth will eventually be revealed. All you needed was a little patience. If that's not there, what is?

Aku Bukan Untukmu

Know this song? I remember listening to this song on the radio and fell in love immediately with the lyrics. Now, I can play it on the piano. Yay me! Haha. I am currently at home, not doing anything much. Not even opening the obstetric book I brought back *nerding*.

Anyway, I'm spending these days brushing up on my music skills. I haven't touch my piano and guitar in ages!! And where is my clarinet???? Fine, I admit, I am still a newbie in playing the guitar though I can play simple songs like Leaving On a Jet Plane and Hey Stephen, but I think my piano playing is getting better *winks*

Oh, about this song. It is about someone realizing that the person they love is already with another person. Though how hard he or she hopes and cries, in the end, they know that they have no right to break the relationship and tear the two of them apart. Aku bukan untukmu - I was never meant to be yours.

The part which touched me the most was when she sang - Meski kumemohon dan meminta hatimu, jangan pernah tinggalkan dirinya, untuk diriku - Though I plead and beg for your heart, don't you ever leave her, for me.

They say time will heal, but trust me, that the person you once loved will always have a place in your heart. Every time you see his or her face, or every time something small reminds you of that person, the memories will come rushing back overwhelming you. What you have to do just then is to embrace them, let them touch your heart. And move on.

"Meski kumemohon dan meminta hatimu, jangan pernah tinggalkan dirinya, untuk diriku..."

How would you know?

How would you know if the decision you made is the right one. As I've always mentioned before, life does give you chances, but in the end that is the path you have to follow all your life. You have to be sure, but how? Uncertainties, I still remember, is a culprit in having a happily ever after scenario in one's life.

But how would we make decisions? How would we choose?

Easy, just listen to your heart.

If that's the best for you, you'll have an easy path in the end and it would be possible to be happily ever after. But there is nothing as happily ever after.

I've learned to live my life one day at a time, trying to live it to the very fullest and just be happy and content about it. Sometime life might get into your way and you feel like it's the end of everything, but think back, if you consider yourself as unlucky, think about the other people who have to scrape the ground just to get food, imagine those without parents and have to live with the sympathy of others.

I can't wait to go back. I'm happy that it's finally over.

Oh, Zawir told me to read the Ten Teachers Obstetrics book during the holiday. Urm... I'll think about it. Syazz.. What do you think??? Haha.

I miss wall climbing. Nina's back from Perhentian but I will not see her till next week!! *sob*sob* Never mind, she has to work anyway =P

I miss India *random*

Oh, this morning while in the car I was listening to Taylor Swift's The Best Day and I suddenly miss my parents so much. I obviously do not know how to upload a video here. But well, I'll share the lyrics with you. I miss them, and I wish they were here, somehow. Haih. I feel like being a kid all over again.

I'm five years old
It's getting cold
I've got
A big coat

on

I hear your laugh
And look up smiling at you
And run and run

At the pumpkin patch
The tractor rolls on
The sky is gold
I hug your legs and fall asleep
The whole way home

I don't know why all the trees change in the fall
I know that you're not scared of anything at all
Don't know if Snow White's house is near or far away
But I know that I had the best day
With you today

I'm thirteen now
And don't know how my friends
Could be so mean

I come crying
You hold me tight
And grab the keys

And you drive and drive
Until we've found a town
Far enough away

And we talk and window-shop
Until I've forgotten all their names

I don't know who I'm gonna talk to
Now at school
I know I'm laughing on the car ride home with you
Don't know how long it's gonna take to feel okay
But I know I had the best day
With you today

I have an excellent father
His strength is making me stronger
God smiles on my little brother
Inside and out
He's better than nothing

I grew up in a pretty house
And I had space to run
And I had the best days with you

There is a video
I found from back when I was three
You set up a paint set in the kitchen
And you're talking to me

It's the edge of princesses and pirate ships
And the seven dwarfs
Daddy's smart
And you're the prettiest lady in the whole wide world

Now I know why all the trees change in the fall
And you were on my side
Even when I was wrong
And I love you for giving me your eyes
Staying back and watching me shine

And I didn't know if you knew
So I'm taking this chance to say
That I had the best day
With you today

Most of this events I've experienced - Being in a winter jacket in a snowy lawn, and sometimes I would cry when I get teased at school. Even I remember them reading story books to me and my sisters before going to bed, how we would be delighted when daddy comes home pretending as a wicked witch trying to give us poison apples and how mummy will tell us that we are princesses.

Mummy, daddy, I miss you.

I wont be seeing them till June, since I'll be leaving to Dubai then. I can't wait to do my long due shopping and for one thing, I have never been to Dubai during summer, so yea, wish me luck!

I hope I'll be able to come online when I'm at home, hoping the internet is okay. Since adik is here, I don't have anyone to ask. Anyway, I'll try to update again. I still owe my India and EOP BBQ Partay!!! Hahaha..

I'm hungry. Taa!~

My holiday to begin with..

I'm at mama's today. As usual I love being here as it is the closest place I can call home. Yes I am rather homesick these few days. The exam, the fever and everything else that happened in between did not really help. Kakak's busy with her Family Medicine posting and I don't really want to bother her that much.

So yea, my holidays have begun! Hooray!!!! I've been waiting for this for so long. It's been some time since I went back to Kelantan since my Surgery-IM holidays I went to Dubai and my IM-Peads holidays I went to India.

I can't wait to be home. And I also have friends coming over!!! Yay!!!

I think I'd better get bathe. Want to eat mama's famous chicken rice =)

Yawn...

Today was quite a long day for me. Waking up at 7, I had to get ready to go to an orphanage - Rumah Darul Hikmah as our Young Mercy group is having the last trip there to do some cleaning for the house.

It was raining, and I thought, what a way to start a day.

I arrived Street Mall Campus quite late, as we had to gather by 8.15, but anyway we left late due to the rain.

As we arrived, I was in shock to see the condition of the house. Everything, I mean it EVERYTHING was available but not to their reach, and not just that, most of the places were quite dirty, even the smell of rat urine. Okay, if that's not bad enough, I actually saw 3 rats!!!

So we started of cleaning the whole house and even cooking. Me, as usual had great time with the kids. Some of them were really naughty but there were nice ones as well.

I was told that not all of them are orphans. Some of them are there because their parents cannot afford to have them say for a month, and after that they will return to their parents' house.

I wonder, why do these people want to burden the life of these innocent kids??

To me, if you want to open a home, you should do it wholeheartedly and sincerely. Don't do it just because you want other people to think that you are nice or you're trying to win an election of anything else for that matter.

I was quite close to a little boy who had stomach ache and a mild fever - Ikmal. Yes I know he is not the most adorable kid, but he was kind and gentle, and he hugged me while sleeping. It breaks my heart to see him in so much pain and I promised to see him again whenever I get a chance. I really hope I will.

At 3 all the work was done and we had our lunch in a talam. It was very cool and interesting as the last time I had that was when I was very-very young, breaking fast at my village's mosque. I felt close to the children, and to my friends as well.

Then I left to visit Adik in SSP. Me being a sister-mother role, I don't think I'm strict enough as now she's home with me, saying having a 'flu'. Yea right adik. You'd better get that straight A plus!!!!

I feel like singing again =)

I just took cough syrup and my eyes are shutting down. Will upload the photos when I'm back in Kelantan =))

Can't wait for tomorrow. Going home is soooooooo cool!~ I miss my home sweet home!

Life is not always sweet and easy, sometimes it's complicated.

It's finally over :)

So yeah, my exam. The MCQ was single best, means you have to choose THE BEST. The questions were quite okay, a few which I was very confident of and a few memang tembak randomly. *Pom Pom* Haha. The EMQ - extended matching was kinda difficult. It's like you're given a few answers, then comes the questions that could either be the same answer or not. Ah, I don't know if I'm explaining right. But that one, I think totally hancussssssss.... Haha, okok, not TOTALLY but I guess I did not really did well. Then the SAQ - Short answer questions where I have to write in the answers stimulated by certain conditions. *no comment* Haha

All in all, the exam was okay, despite I was vomiting like crazy again, and Zubalqiah called me at 8.40 to tell me that the exam was at 9!!! Thank God I was already ready and was about to leave my house already. But then it started at 9.30, so I had all the time I wanted.

Anyway, after the exam, my eldest cousin - Along - called. He was in Cyber and he asked me if i wanted to follow him jalan2. He said he was going to Metrojaya warehouse sale in Bukit Jalil. When I went down to see him, Kak Zara *his wife* and Ahmad *his son* was there. OMG, Ahmad's cheeks was about to burst out!!! I think he's almost 30kg at the age of 4. Oh, his birthday is tomorrow!! Geram ok, so cute. I love kids.

I bought some makeup and makeup remover and hair mask - everything for less than RM50! It was super cheap!!!!!! Then we went to Berjaya Times Square and had Subway. Ahmad bullied me =( He asked me to run around in my baju kurung!!! And kept on going up and down the escalators!! Haha. He's cute, so it's fine. I'm quite bias for cuteness, you know.

So yeah, tomorrow's the grand reflection. Oh Hafiz, I'm about to start with the script! Haha. Tonight I guess I'll just laze around. Maybe watch a movie or two from my hard disc, haih, where is it? I don't really feel like going out with the cough and sore throat. Chia tried to examine me just now. Haha. Cute fella.

And.. I'm also hungry right now :( Anyone up for dinner??

My holidays have officially began. For now, it's....

Goodbye Peads, Hello Obgyn!~

Dancing anyone????

I was chatting with a good friend of mine, Syaz aka Cas aka Cas positive (picture as below)

pewiiiitttt..... boleh kenal? :P

Okok, let me continue. I asked her if she was studying since we are now in our exam week. We had our clinical exams on the same day and our written was due Thursday so it was as if we had weekends to study! As usual, when you are in a state of stress, every single unimaginable idea will come popping into your head and you would give it a thought. Anything at all, that could distract you from studying is good enough. That was when I asked her.....

nanarani (4/6/2010 11:06:51 AM): syazzzz.... i nk ajak u g dancing class
nanarani (4/6/2010 11:06:52 AM): jom
nanarani (4/6/2010 11:06:53 AM): hahahahah
syazz redZ (4/6/2010 11:07:02 AM): hahah dancing mende ko ni nana/
syazz redZ (4/6/2010 11:07:05 AM): aku mane ade duit doww
nanarani (4/6/2010 11:07:10 AM): bukan skang
nanarani (4/6/2010 11:07:11 AM): nnt la
syazz redZ (4/6/2010 11:07:11 AM): hahaha
nanarani (4/6/2010 11:07:13 AM): 4th yr ke
nanarani (4/6/2010 11:07:15 AM): hahahahahhaha
syazz redZ (4/6/2010 11:07:17 AM): hahaha
syazz redZ (4/6/2010 11:07:21 AM): mase tu i dah ade duit ke?
syazz redZ (4/6/2010 11:07:24 AM):
nanarani (4/6/2010 11:07:26 AM): mayb
nanarani (4/6/2010 11:07:28 AM): hahahhahahaha
nanarani (4/6/2010 11:07:29 AM): lol

hehehehe.... Syaz, promise, I'll just share this part, okay?

Anyway, I found a few articles stating how good dancing is and all. Most importantly, I have been interested into getting serious of learning SOMETHING while studying medicine. I feel so jealous with my friends who are learning salsa, mamba, singing, playing instruments or doing anything that they loved in the world! Haih. As for me, all I do each day is TRYING to study. Sigh.

I have always loved dancing. From traditional dance to modern dance, even foreign dances such as bollywood dance and all. But I never had the chance to really learn them. At least by dancing I could built up my energy, not being so weak and sleepy in class and hospital, perhaps????

One thing I can't resist is seeing kids dancing. OMG they're so cute and they melt your heart!!!! The most interesting part is when they do mistakes and their innocent faces lightens you up for days!

Another point here is.. I am living a totally sedentary lifestyle. Yes, I go wallclimbing every now and then, but it's not really my passion. I love swimming, which I have no talent into either. Haih. Poor me.


But my definitive goal is to learn ballroom dancing. I just love to see how two people could sway together. Dancing is like another way to say I love you. I like the way their body moves together so understandably and the rhythm they follow. Each beat is like another step of getting closer... Eyes locked together..

See, I told you I'm such a fairytale believer!

Anyway, I want to go dancing. Planning for a getaway with Syaz next week at my house, maybe we can do our own little dancing in my room :) *winks*

People, whoever knows a good dancing studio with affordable price and good timing, please please please tell me..


Syaz... come and join me..... pretty please... *batting eyelashes*

It started with a kiss

Okay, this entry has nothing to do with the title. Haha. I;ve just finished my clinical exams for pediatrics which was ok I guess and I SHOULD be studying for my written examination of Thursday. But I'm sick! :( Haha. So I decided to update this with whatever that comes into my mind and then take a good nap before continue studying.

How was my weekend???

Adik's sports day was fun. How could you disqualify a team on a real day? Sometimes I don't understand what do they mean by obscene scenes. For God's sake, they're all girls!! And the best they could do is to be as girlish as possible. It's not like they were kissing each other. But anyway, it's called losing with pride. I call it anyway.

Then we decided to watch a movie but I was too sick for that. So we went home instead.

Now now, the serious part. I'm torn between two - iphone or blackberry?


I know both has its own pros and cons. But I don't know which one's better. In an Iphone I could install a lot of medical stuff and it seems really fun and helpful to study *nerding* then the blackberry will enable me to keep in touch with friends. The pitfall is, I don't really have a lot of friends using blackberry and Iphone is purely touchscreen! I am never really cautious and I am clumsy too. Would it be worth it?

But for now, I'm quite content with my Nokia E71. At least it does not give me any problems like my sony and motorola used to do. Weeeeeee....

Daddy's getting a blackberry, can I have a Bold2??? Pretty please.....

Not good enough for a reason??



Let me see.. Oh, Chuck Bass is also using a blackberry in the latest season of Gossip Girl!! XoXO!! Hahahah..

Now, I should get my pretty nap first. I don't want my lymph nodes to be torturing me again later! It's difficult even to turn my head sideways!!! *Sigh*

To me: Get well soon :(