Saturday, September 11, 2010

Quality of Life

Today I visited my granddad's eldest sister. It is a tradition to visit family members during Eid, but my family usually stay at home to receive guests here in our house.

My granddad's eldest sister is 102 years old! Yet she is still oriented to time, place and person. She still recognizes my granddad and still remembers bits and pieces of her past. It's interesting to see her, though she looks so fragile and small, yet she can still converse with us and all, though not so clear anymore.

She's so cute! She has a small pouch where she keeps all the money given to her and she can even recognize their value! She keeps in in her shirt as she is scared that people may come and take it away.

My granddad has 5 siblings, but currently it's just the two of them left. It's sad yet happy at the same time watching them bond. Mixed emotions.

I don't know if I will ever get to live even until a hundred years old. And I wonder how will it feel, to watch your love ones, the people you know slowly leave the world before you.

What amazes me is that she is really well taken care of. Her children cares for her, a lot, and her granddaughter is the one tending to her needs daily.

I believe in karma, and it is true, if you take care of your parents, your children will take care of you too. But if you don't, you will neither be taken care of when you grow old.

Seeing her being so happy around the people who loves her, makes me wonder, what do we actually seek in life? Happiness, blessing? What is it that we are looking for, our final goal?

Many people have different opinions about this matter.

One day we might wake up not knowing what to do in life, our long lost best friend is no longer on the dialing list, and we feel all alone, insecure, helpless and loss.

What defines us is ourselves.

Maybe one day the person we love the most today will be the one backstabbing us and telling all sorts of shit about us.

Maybe a friend you trust so much will be the one person to believe stories told by every single other person but yourself without even feeling that they should ask you first.

Maybe the person that you thought was an enemy, the ones you called names to would not be so bad after all.

Maybe, just maybe.

Oh well, it's the month of forgiveness. And I don't want to spend a lifetime feeling guilty for things that I didn't do or things I didn't say.

Nevertheless, I'm sorry if I ever hurt you. Anyone at all for that matter.

And if it's hard to forgive, (as this is too general, you need me to seek forgiveness for a specific reason, I believe) just come and see me. No one in the right mind thinks that it is degrading to approach someone and tell them what they did is wrong. Only those with a twisted ego.

Oh well.

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