Of Being Perfect

Sometimes, no, most of the times, I hate it when people point out my mistake. It hurts, knowing I did something wrong that I shouldn't have done in the first place. Then I start acting all defensive without thinking what the person might have to say, or feel for that matter.

A friend said, there are two types of people in this world. Better, there's two types of friends.

One - those who will be super nice to you in front of you, but talks everything bad behind you

Two - those who will tell you straight to your face what you did wrong

Most people take the second one as those who are jealous, or those who wants attention. Today I've learned that group TWO are those who really care and love you.

So what it you're not perfect? It's mean to even expect another to be perfect when you are not one yourself. I know sometimes it's difficult to accept mistakes, to forgive, and to forget. But it's life anyway.

So what about number ONE? These are the people you have to really be careful with. People who sway along with words that are being spread, people who trust each other person without even having judgments on their own.

Well, I can't deny that I am not perfect, and I do talk behind peoples' backs too. But today I learned a valuable lesson that made me realize, if I don't want to tell them that they are wrong, why not just shut the hell up? It's easier that way.

I even read in a magazine today that seeking and giving forgiveness would expand your life span. Maybe??

Anyway, back to me.

I hate it when I am imperfect, especially in front of someone I care and I love. I hate being the one to break down so fast, or making a simple stupid mistake. I hate it when I have to apologize, especially when I realize, if I haven't done so, there's nothing o forgive.

Yet again, I know I'm not perfect. Never am, never will be.

So as for today, I will try to embrace that fact.

Maybe being perfect is not something achievable, but being sincere is. Maybe, that's the one thing I should be aiming for, to be sincere in what I do. People might not like who we really are, but as long as we know ourselves, and we know where we stand, one day, the world will see. And if it never does, there is always the hereafter.

And Above All.... Love

What keeps you hanging on when the whole world turns their backs against you? When you feel like there's no one left for you, no one there to trust you, no one to be by your side? Everyone will have this one moment in life when they reflect back on their actions, and the things they've done. And in the end, what decides if they will regret or look back into yesterday with pride? And who will you be left is in the end?

I'm still a baby in life, though I've lived passed 20 years on Earth. But I'm still trying to balance myself, not to trip over, not to fall.

I have learn that you can't always get what you want, so better go for what you need. Sometimes, what you want might not be the best for you, yet you spend so much time whining on something that is not even worth thinking of.

A friend of mine lost someone dear to her recently. No, it's not that heartbroken stories where you finally manage to mend your broken heart and curse the other party. It's gone, forever. When she was at the top of her life, when her heart was filled with all the love in the world, he left. Forever. He had not just left her, but the world as well.

I know she tries to act strong, try to be strong. Her heart can only bear so much, it gets brittle and falls apart. She's trying so hart to recollect herself, and trying not to break down.

There's never 'too long' for you to be crying over something. Tears might not bring him back, this time, love can't find a way. But it that is what makes you better, makes you feel okay, then just cry your heart out. It's okay.

I know I am of no position to tell her that things are gonna be fine. I am of no position to tell her to let go. All I can be is a listener, a shoulder to cry on. I want her to know that she'll always have us, her friends, and me =) Hang in there sayang. You'll make it through.

Above everything, there's always love. Between us, friends, to support her. And I pray one day she'll be able to smile once more, with the same gleaming and shining eyes.

Thinking About You and A Lot of Other Stuffs

Have you ever thought of someone so badly that the next second you could just break down and cry your heart out?

Have you regretting not telling how you feel and let someone go?

Have you ever missed someone so badly that it hurts deep inside?

I have.

I miss you.

So yeah, I've finished my rotation in Terendak, and I'm starting Serdang Hospital first thing tomorrow morning. I just received a text saying I have to prepare a case for tomorrow's presentation. Should sleep early tonight I suppose.

My weekend has been busy. And right now I guess I'll be down with a fever in no time. Especially after that rain shower after Prof Ikram's open house. =P

My days in Terendak was superb! Yea, we did have only two days of classes with a holiday in between, but the one day of holiday was A.W.E.S.O.M.E

It started with a Raya Feast with Prof. Khai and his family and camwhoring at the beach, then I went for karaoke at Mahkota Parade with Rafiza, Hanis, Ishani and Chia =) After the two-hour-karaoke, we went to play in the arcade. Rafiza really enjoyed the arcade as it was her first time. Me? I was bliss! Hahaha.

We came back at 1.30 and went fishing at the beach nearby. We got 5 fishes and went to bed at about 4. It was wayyyyyyy past my bedtime, so I only managed to doze of after 5. Well, that was the last time I glanced at my watch for that night, oh, morning, anyway. Haha.

Then on Thursday we went to a few houses.

Niza's house was first! We had lontong with an extremely delicious chicken rendang! Niza told me that his Mak Long was the one who prepared the rendang, and he was very much inspired to learn how to cook by her =) Good for you, Niza!

Then we went to Hanis's house and had nasi lemak. It was really great! Heeeeeeee... The sambal was superb! Haha. Hanis, you're gonna cook for us next! =P And the coconut shake near Kelebang Beach was fantastic!

Then we went to my nenek's. Heeeeeee. No was was actually home, but mak cooked laksa nyonya as there was a bunch of people at home before we arrived. So we stuffed our already full tummies with that after resting for awhile. All of us crashed in the library before making a move. Oh, that reminds me, the three little kids back home wants balloons. *Random*

We went to Mahkota Parade, Rafiza and Azizah got themselves handbags, and I shopped too. Haha. So much for never shopping again this month ey?

We wanted to have a look at Jonker Street, but it was closed. Public Holidays, I suppose. So our last stop was a Baba and Nyonya restaurant where we had a variety of dishes and again, stuffed our tummy! Hahahaha.

We went home exhausted yet happy =)

I'm looking forward for karaoke sessions and tummy stuffing again. And I think I should resume my gym routine. I want my kettlebell!!!!! =( Heeee.. Oh, Syazz, we need to plan our next karaoke session! Huuu...

I met up with Fido, oh, DR. Fido, yesterday. Haha. It's been awhile and he's flying off to Dublin tomorrow. And yes, Fido, you do look thin! Please eat, and if you think is necessary you could consider what Syazz recommended. Haha.

Sorry, no pictures available. The connection is a bit drunk, so yea.

Anyway, mama's back =) So this weekend I'll be staying over at her place! Can't wait!

In dilemma - Iphone 4 or Blackberry Torch? Urgh!~

Of Yesterday

It would be great, if it was yesterday, just once more.

Sometimes you look into the mirror and wonder what has life turn you into. Who are you, and where are you standing at this moment. You hope that it's not too late to tell what you think, or feel what you feel.

When the moment's gone, it's gone, and you can't turn back time no matter how hard you try, even if you bled in tears.

There are those moments in life when you would want to pause time so it wont pass. And there are moments where you wish they never happen.

My yesterday was still the best, today is definitely a gift, and tomorrow is a complete mystery.

Why...

Can't they just extend our holidays???????

I'm back in Melaka, right now at my gradma's, so it's okay..

But hey, tomorrow is ONE day, the FIRST day of class for the week

The next day is HOLIDAY

then..

Friday is the SECOND class of the week..

Then it's the weekend!!! Sigh!




I'll be back to Cyberjaya for good on Friday.

Syaz, Era, get ready to hit the roads!~





Tomorrow's tentative - TBL, assessment and Hari Raya Feast.

Yes, if there was no assessment tomorrow, I might have extended my holidays. Smart ass. =(

Quality of Life

Today I visited my granddad's eldest sister. It is a tradition to visit family members during Eid, but my family usually stay at home to receive guests here in our house.

My granddad's eldest sister is 102 years old! Yet she is still oriented to time, place and person. She still recognizes my granddad and still remembers bits and pieces of her past. It's interesting to see her, though she looks so fragile and small, yet she can still converse with us and all, though not so clear anymore.

She's so cute! She has a small pouch where she keeps all the money given to her and she can even recognize their value! She keeps in in her shirt as she is scared that people may come and take it away.

My granddad has 5 siblings, but currently it's just the two of them left. It's sad yet happy at the same time watching them bond. Mixed emotions.






I don't know if I will ever get to live even until a hundred years old. And I wonder how will it feel, to watch your love ones, the people you know slowly leave the world before you.

What amazes me is that she is really well taken care of. Her children cares for her, a lot, and her granddaughter is the one tending to her needs daily.

I believe in karma, and it is true, if you take care of your parents, your children will take care of you too. But if you don't, you will neither be taken care of when you grow old.

Seeing her being so happy around the people who loves her, makes me wonder, what do we actually seek in life? Happiness, blessing? What is it that we are looking for, our final goal?

Many people have different opinions about this matter.

One day we might wake up not knowing what to do in life, our long lost best friend is no longer on the dialing list, and we feel all alone, insecure, helpless and loss.

What defines us is ourselves.

Maybe one day the person we love the most today will be the one backstabbing us and telling all sorts of shit about us.

Maybe a friend you trust so much will be the one person to believe stories told by every single other person but yourself without even feeling that they should ask you first.

Maybe the person that you thought was an enemy, the ones you called names to would not be so bad after all.

Maybe, just maybe.

Oh well, it's the month of forgiveness. And I don't want to spend a lifetime feeling guilty for things that I didn't do or things I didn't say.

Nevertheless, I'm sorry if I ever hurt you. Anyone at all for that matter.

And if it's hard to forgive, (as this is too general, you need me to seek forgiveness for a specific reason, I believe) just come and see me. No one in the right mind thinks that it is degrading to approach someone and tell them what they did is wrong. Only those with a twisted ego.

Oh well.

Salam Lebaran

I would like to wish everyone out there a happy Eid-ul-Fitri

Sorry for all my wrong doings

the slip of the tongue

and intentional or unintentional things that I have done

Salam Lebaran 2010

Lets Get Ready

After 30 days of fasting, Muslims all over the world will finally get to celebrate the big day, Eid!

For me, each year I'll be rotating between two hometowns, Melaka and Kelantan. And since last year we have already celebrated Eid in Melaka, this year we will be celebrating Eid in Kelantan, mummy's hometown!!

I arrived home last night and had a wonderful sahur with the whole family. This is the first time EVERYONE was home for sahur, and miraculously adik was easy to wake. Haha.




The whole day was busy with preparation for Eid.

Ma made a cake,



adik made a cake, *yes, the instant one* hahahhaa


I helped Ma making curry chicken for tomorrow's nasi dagang,



mummy made kuzi chicken for tomorrow's roti jala and Aunty Amy did all the rest =)



This is the first time I actually enjoyed the preparation for raya here. Maybe for those who know me would understand why. Heeeeeeee...



Oh well, we had iftar together, and watched My Name is Khan on Astro Box Office before filling our tummy with a lot, yes I mean it, A LOT of food!!! Hehehe..

And then we went to the garden for some camwhoring. =)

And after everything has settled down, we settled in front of the TV....
Me? I had a short nap! Hahahah



I can't wait for Eid tomorrow!! =)

Time To Celebrate Baby!~

090910

I would like to wish sincerely from the deepest depth of my small heart...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAKAK!!!

You're like the weirdest sister anyone could get, but we love you anyway. =)

Her birthday is like ONE DAY before raya, so adik and I are planning on something tomorrow. It's not really a surprise since kakak bought us the ingredients =P Will be updated later!~ Heeeee...

Anyway,

To kakak,

I wish you all the happiness anyone could ever dream of. Next year I'll be all alone at home, sigh. So make sure you stay with me first while you have the time =) Hehehe.. Help me make it through medical school. Haha.

And kakak,

Thanks for everything, all the twisted advices and lame jokes.

I love you..!!

Traveling

I'm home people!!!

Hahaha. My flight just landed in Kota Bharu Airport a few hours ago and had a lovely dinner at home. Iftar was exactly during the announcement of boarding, so I had a quick sip of juice and managed to sleep during the whole flight. Waking up hungry, as usual. Heee.

It's festive season and everyone will be traveling no matter near or far. Some of us will travel by car, train, bus and airplanes. Everyone's elated to be back home with their loved ones. Children studying travel back to meet their long awaiting parents, those working all over the world coming back to celebrate Eid, a time full of happiness and joy for everyone. Every parent will be waiting for their child to come home, to hold them in their arms and embrace the moment of reunion.

However, it is also a season of accidents. Statistically, this is the time when most accidents happen. People are too tired after fasting a whole day, and being hypoglycemic does not help you to have enough energy for a long travel. I was traveling back to Cyberjaya from Melaka when I was three accidents along the highway. Can you imagine, THREE! In just one day, in a just one hour drive along the highway.

Sometimes accidents can be your fault, sometimes it is not your fault. You might be pressing on the right speed, keeping to your lane and everything, but some moron comes and hits you. It's inevitable, yet can you really blame that person? My dad always says that we should never be a driver who makes other drivers change speed or direction, as it can lead to accidents. Being alert and keeping to an acceptable speed is one thing that everyone should practice. Face it, everyone wants to get home, everyone has their family waiting for them at home. So why not we make it easier for everyone, including ourselves?

I know no one wants to be involved in accidents. It will end up consuming much time, money and energy. Sometimes, it even costs you lives.

So drive safely this festive season, no matter where you're heading to. And if you're tired, take a break. It's okay to arrive a few hours late than to never arrive at all. =)

Raya Mode

This week we'll be having only TWO days of classes, next week the same. I'm seriously not in the mood for any studying, been watching Vampire Sucks with my dear roommate last night, and had an hour of class from 2-3 pm today really puts me into the raya mode!~ Heeeeeee....

My weekend has been pretty packed. I went back to my grandma's and spent the whole day being bullied my the three little kids back at home. I bought them a packet of jelly, a HUGE packet of jelly which they finished eating in 4 hours!~ Beware kids, your teeth might get rotten and grandpa teh might have to take them all out for you!!!!!!

I had an awesome shopping experience on Saturday with my family. It has been four years since my parents were actually here during Ramadhan, so this year is really special for us. I don't usually get to spend this holy month with them as they would come back a day or two earlier for Eid and be gone by the third day or so. So to those having their parents near, appreciate them while they are there. One day we might be elsewhere, working and all, and might not be able to spend time with them as much. I know how it feels, and trust me it hurts. But at least now you still have someone to go back too.

Tomorrow our class will be at 10.30am, and by 12 I'll be on the road back to Cyberjaya =) I really can't wait to go home on Wednesday!!!

This year I'll be spending my Eid in Kelantan as I have spent last year's in Melaka. Mama is already in London, spending Eid with Abg Nain and Abg Amin's family. Me so jealous!~ But so far Mak Lang has confirmed my application to London's hospital, so I'll be getting my ticket soon =)

I don't think I'll be doing any studying tonight. Can't wait to see my dear Era and Syazz tomorrow. I miss my dolls so much! Oh, Syazz, we will have to do our thing! Heeeeeeeee. And it is compulsory for Era to join us too!!!!!! Hahahhahahahah

Maybe, if I sleep, tomorrow will come early. I'm not in charge of the presentation either. So never mind.

Oh, I need to go out for supper first! I promised Chia. Hahahahhaha... =)




I think I'll be updating once I get back to Kelantan. The internet here is literally drunk, and the broadband connection isn't really helping. Oh well.

Cinta Antara Kita

Thanks Sha for sharing this sweet song with me =)

I've never watch this movie before, but I've heard about the series before.

To me, love isn't complete without someone who loves you back. Find that one and only person, and you'll be happy no matter what life throws at you.

Life is never simple, yet there are people who will help you to untangle the knots in life and make it easier to live in.

I love you.

Just Here.

I know I haven't update this thing for some time. Well, as you all might know, I'm currently in Terendak, and yea, the internet is NOT AVAILABLE! So to those who are coming later, be prepared!~

It has been fun, tiring and exciting.

Can't update much though. Heee. So lazy to go online lah these days. Internet slow, no mood. Been sleeping, sleeping and eating. Hahahahah.

Deja vu anyone?