Some Things Are Never Gone

Have you ever lose something so precious to you? Something that you cherish, but out of pure carelessness you lose it and you can't express how deeply sorry you are that it is gone?

I have.

Last week I lost my wedding ring in my ot scrub. I had to assist as it was an emergency OT (usually guys will do it but it was Friday prayer time) so I just barged in, not realising that the ring was still on my finger till I started to scrub in. Being worried I was late, I took it off and put it in the pocket.

The op ended at 3, but at 7pm I realised that I left it there. That time we were on our way back home, and Farid turned around to look for it.

But it was gone, on the way to the washing centre in Banting, where all the OT scrubs from Klang Valley are washed and sanitised. I made a call to the supervisor, in tears, begging her to please at least try to find it. But on the way home, I told Farid how sorry I was and he just asked me to not think about it.

At 6am the following day, I received a call. They found my ring. In the midst of all the scrubs, my wedding ring was found! I was so happy I couldn't sleep and I was awake all day! Alhamdulillah, praise to Allah!! Call it takdir, destiny or fate, but I know that ring is meant to be on my finger forever :)

This incident made me realise that things that are meant to be yours will never be gone forever. It doesn't have to be something physical, for example if you have been trying so hard to pass a certain test but still fail after multiple attempts, don't lose hope as if it meant to be it will always be. If it is not, there is always something better awaiting.

Same goes to those who are heartbroken. If two people are meant to be with each other, nothing in the world can come in between. But if it is too hard to even be together, then it might not work out, and there must be a reason for it. Stop blaming others or yourself and just move on, and trust me, you'll be happy with what you will find in the end :)

As for me, Farid is making me me leave the ring at home when I go to work (honestly I like the fact when people look at my finger and ask if I'm married and with a big grin I'll say yes) so I am doing that now. Hehe. I don't want to lose it again, not now, not ever! My heart almost stopped beating when I noticed that it is not on my finger!!!!!! I know Farid can always buy me a new ring, with more diamonds and more expensive, but this will always be my favourite ring as it is a symbol of the day he took me to be his wife :)

Stay Safe

Yesterday while I was working mummy told me that there was an earthquake in Dubai.

I immediately had palpitations and chills running down my spine. Even though mummy said everything was okay and that it lasted only for a few minutes, I was scared to death.

You see, I haven't been staying with my parents for a long, long time. And I hate the feeling of distance. I hate distance, as it brings uncertainties and doubtfulness. I don't know if mummy is really telling the truth or if she is hiding the real situation from me.

I am really grateful that nothing happen. I want my parents to be able to be with me when I deliver my baby, to be able to look into the eyes of their first born grandchild and see Baby grow up, go to school and everything else.

I miss my parents, mummy and daddy, and five times a day I would kneel before God, praying for their safety and comfort, and for us to be reunited again as a family in summer.

Flicks & Flickers

Lately Baby has been moving more and more. Most of the time that Baby will be moving is when I lay down to rest, or if I've just started work. I read somewhere that talking to your unborn child will make it accustomed to your voice and it will sooth the baby. So everyday when I wake up I'll wake Baby up as well :) And talk to Baby as we go through the day, like "Let's go to work my dear", or "I'm hungry. Let's look for Papa and find something to eat."

Sometimes I will purposely ask Baby to move, and when Baby does, that is the happiest feeling ever! It is so wonderful to actually feel life from within you!

When I put Farid's hand on my tummy to feel Baby's movements, all he asked me was, "Was that your tummy?" -.-" I understand that those movements are actually very soft still, but it is kinda funny to see Farid's face concentrating really hard to feel the movements. I think because Baby has just learned to wiggle, not to punch yet. Hehe.

I passed the halfway mark in my pregnancy and honestly nowadays am feeling much better about myself and my appetite. I even can eat fish!!! One thing that worries me is my haemoglobin level which is not picking up. The specialist said that I should take the higher end hematinics, and given my nature of work, I think I should. I'm also trying to fill myself with nourishing food most of the time - fruits, salads, vitamins and everything else that is good for Baby's development. It is difficult sometimes as I have to eat out and stuff, but so far it is okay :)

This morning while in the Operation Theatre Baby was super excited. Baby kept on moving causing me to giggle while doing the procedure. Guess someone got a good sleep last night, huh?

I can't wait to hold Baby in my arm. Imagining all the things we'll do together, places we will go. I'm really excited yet nervous for motherhood. But I believe that this is the best for me and I should be prepared. After all, we still have a few months till we can see each other face to face, isn't it sayang?

Emotionally Abused

I don't understand people who simply scolds for no reason, just because he/she is at a higher rank than others. I understand that some people get disappointed when the people under them are unable to perform as expected, but life itself is a learning process and we will never stop learning till the day we die.

Sometimes I wonder if these people have a past so traumatising till they have to let it out on others. It looks like they have gone through a lot, or just simply unsatisfied with life, which to me is sad.

Is it fun to be hated, to be avoided? I wonder this too. I don't understand the joy in hurting others, I really don't. Sometimes we don't hate our work, we just hate the people we're working with. And I honestly think that it is a big sin to be changing someone's niat from helping other people at work to just surviving the day.

I know that there are a lot of people like this around. But I pray hard so that I wont become one of them.

My First Buy!

Even though I'm halfway through my pregnancy, Farid still doesn't think that it is a wise idea to start shopping for Baby just yet, as we haven't known Baby's gender. Fair enough, I thought, as I am in no rush to buy anything and just keep the cash stacking up till its time :)

I've talked to many mummies to find out what I should buy before the baby arrives and what can be on hold till later. One of the many suggestions is to get a good travelling system for Baby as he/she will definitely be travelling not just in KL!

This weekend there was a babyfair at Midvalley so Farid and I decided to check the strollers out. I have a few in mind, with prices that range from a few hundreds to a few thousands. I've also been looking through a lot of reviews regarding this and I decided to settle on something that would suit 'me' most. I'm small, and sometimes I am so weak that I can't even open the Evian bottle by myself. So the first criteria in finding my own stroller is the weight. I must be able to carry it with one hand, and it is a plus point if it comes with a carrying bag!

My next criteria is that it has to be fit to my size. I'm small, so I don't think bulky strollers would suit me well as they will be a trouble to manoeuvre and to handle especially when I'm alone with Baby.

So after surveying a few brands, and even going to some shops as not all brands are on sale, I finally settled with a Quinny Zapp Xtra + maxi-cosi Pebble baby carrier + carrying bag!

What made me chose this is because it is really easy to fold, and once folded it can fit anywhere. I even tried to put it in the carrying bag and sling it around my shoulder, perfecto! The maxi-cosi carrier is a flight compatible carrier. Baby is definitely flying to KB to meet onyang, or JB to meet Aunt Azy and Uncle Farour, or even Sabah to chill with Uncle Chia! We might not have any out-of-Asia plans till Baby is at least 1 year old, but who knows, right? *wink*

So I am really happy with my purchase!!! I know some of the mom's out there will wait till at least 7-8 months and buy cloths first, but to me, I need to bring Baby around with me and an investment on a travelling system is definitely up on the list!! And the fun part is to be getting a free gift when you purchase stuff at the babyfair! Hehe

For the next purchases I'm looking into breast pumps (need to stock up before I start working) and bottles!! Then we'll be looking at baby furniture!!! Honestly, I am really excited to get all of these stiff in one go, but for now I'll divide the excitement so that it will last till Baby arrives!!! If not I'll be looking at Baby stuff and wanting to buy buy and buy! Hahaha

Can't wait for the next appointment!!! I miss Baby already!!