Worries Of A Mom

Being a mother has changed me in many ways. For one thing, waking up in the middle of the night due to a slight sound is not impossible anymore, changing diapers over and over again, being wee wee-ed on and poo-ed on only brings laughter and joy to you and many more.

So a few nights back Aleesya started to have stuffy nose. She was unable to have continuous feed due to her blocked nose and was really frustrated. All this while she has been a good baby, but for the first time she demanded me to hold her even when she sleeps.

So yesterday I brought her to the doctor. She usual doctor was on leave so we had to see a different doctor. The doctor confirmed that it was only blocked nose and gave us nasal spray to help her clear it.

When Aleesya was given the spray she cried so loud, louder than I've ever heard her cry before! I was heartbroken, but this was for her own good. I hugged her tightly and she stopped crying immediately. Sigh. My eyes were filling up as well.

Aleesya's reaction after was priceless! I hope my little princess gets well soon. It is different to see your own child getting treatment, and when you are giving treatment yourself.

Please mama, don't let them put water in my nose anymore...

I'm praying hard, please mama, please...

She really is a little angel :)

Celebrations

At 19 days of life, we held a ceremony for Aleesya. I think this ceremony is a part of our Malay culture, called cukur jambul. 

So early in the morning, I dressed her up in her newly bought dress, fit for a little princess. She behaved so well during the whole ceremony (and even demanded feeding without crying). After the ceremony, the celebration of Eid continues with an open house.

Poor Aleesya was too tired but unable to sleep due to all the noise. But as soon as we got back to our little home, she was happily sleeping in her cot.

Nothing in the world can describe the love I feel for this baby. She is definitely my most prized possession, here and hereafter :)

 

Confinement

I've got nothing much to update about Eid since I've been spending it at home. I thought I would still be pregnant and huge during Eid but apparently my daughter and God has different plans for me.

So two days before Eid I was here....

Yup, in the labour room pushing out my beautiful daughter. I cannot express my feelings and up to this very day, everything seems surreal, still, even to me. Sometimes I'll just stare at her, admiring how beautiful she is, and thinking, "Wow, I'm a mom"

So yea, in our Malay culture, we have to undergo at least 40 days of confinement. Some people even go up to 100 days confinement. Confinement means eating selectively, having massages and bathing with some herbal water everyday to get your old shape back and to refreshen yourself inside and out.

I did not have my massage for 40 days, I'll die of boredom. I had it for 10 days, with herbal bath for 40 days and no outing for 40 days. I'm still strict on no cold water as I'm okay with it, but it almost kill me that I can't go out till I finish my confinement! And yes, no going up the stairs. At my in laws, my room is on the second floor, so Farid had to take all the stuff I needed downstairs. And so far, I haven't broken that rule as well. I stayed at my in laws for only a few days during this confinement period.

So the rest of my confinement is in my apartment with my mom and husband (who is working) and baby Aleesya :) My confinement lady is the best! She advised me to not take 'cold' and 'itchy' food, the rest is permissible. But mummy is still being awfully cautious and only cooks fish and chicken for me. 

For me, I have another 19 days till I officially graduate my confinement school. Farid kesian me so much he upgraded our astro and internet service. Hehe. Now I'm having everything that I need :)

Oh, I also have friends who come by and make my day bearable. It really is not easy, this pantang thing as I'm so used to being out most of the time. Post-confinement I have another thing to achieve - bottle feed Aleesya. I've been expressing milk and storing them for the future when I start to work, though the thought of working breaks my heart. Sigh. Such a clingy mom I am.

I am grateful that Aleesya is a good baby. She rarely cries if not for milk,and she can just lay around entertaining herself when she's awake. I'm praying that Aleesya will be a good baby and a good girl :) 

My Grumpy Grizzly Bear

FIL and BIL has been really active cycling lately. You know, the big mountain bikes you see people riding in KL. For me, I'm not a big fan of 'dangerous' activities like that as I'm too scared something might happen or I lose control of the bike or something.

So last Saturday Farid decided to join the club and the boys cycling. I has this feeling in my gut which wanted him to just stay at home and watch a movie with me, but I didn't want to get in the way of him spending 'boyish' times with FIL and BILs. So heavy heartedly I said okay and off he went excitedly to ride his bike.

Somehow I couldn't sleep the whole night as I waited for them to come back while watching E! Then the house phone rang. It was almost 1.30am and I just knew something was not right. FIL called and asked for MIL, and after a short conversation MIL went looking for SIL who was sleeping. Then both of them went off, telling me that Farid was tired and needed a lift home.

If there is something I know about Farid is that his ego is too big for his own good, especially when it comes to sports or physical training. He will NEVER admit that he is tired, and will always try to prove that he is fit. I immediately concluded that they did not want me to worry so I pulled a straight face and acted cool.

I wasn't able to sleep and had mini contractions all night as I was so worried of Farid. At about 4am he finally came home with BIL. Turns out one of his cycling group fell and as he was trying to avoid him, he skidded and was dragged on the road. He fractured his metacarpal bone which means he'll need at least 6 weeks to fully heal.

When he woke me up (I was sleeping on the couch) as he arrived, I hardly show any emotions. I was just, okay, lets have sahur. Can you eat, or do you need a spoon?

The following morning as I woke up, I stared at his face and wondered what would have happened if he was not wearing a proper helmet, or if something worst had happened. What will happen to me, or to Baby? Will Baby ever get to know papa? I was overwhelmed with emotions I started sobbing. I even find it weird not to wake up in his arms as they are casted :( It made me cry even more!

Alhamdulillah he is okay. But now down with flu and tonsillitis I brought back from the hospital. Sorry sayang. Its not easy recovering even from viral flu as he is fasting. He said he'll take the mc till after Eid, or if I deliver, after that, despite having one month mc. For me it doesn't really matter because soon enough I'll be having 3 months of leave :) Now he's wearing something that is smaller and not so scary anymore. Phew!

I really hope he gets well soon. I need him the most right now, and I feel like I'm troubling him as he's also unwell :(. In the mean time I'll be his attending nurse :) hehe