Would you be my friend?

Sometimes life gets you and hits you hard till you feel you can never get back up. Things seem to be even more complicated today than it was yesterday, and you know for sure that it will even be more complicated when you open your eyes tomorrow.

Do you remember how it feels like on the first day you stepped into kindergarten? Wonder how you look like, if your hair is tied up in the two little pony tails you've always insist mummy making every morning, wearing your favourite dress and smiling ever so widely. Then daddy brings you to the teacher who takes your hand and leads you into a class full of strangers. Your eyes fill with water, you feel scared, not knowing what to do. You turn back and daddy's at the door, waving goodbye. Closing your eyes tightly, you hope you were still at home, where everything you know is there, a safe place. That is when someone taps on your back. When you turn, it's a girl just about your age with a same huge smile on her face. "Want to play with me?" and you smiled back.

That's how friendship started when we were kids. Just pure feelings of completeness whenever the person is around you. Not being scared of backstabbers, or people who are opportunistic and manipulative.

As we grow older, pure friendship is even harder to find. Sometimes you get friends just because you have the latest DVD or wearing the latest designs, but when you are at the lowest point of your life they will just leave you and not looking back even a glance.

But along the way of finding myself, I found true friends. Those whom I know will always be there for me, through my ups and downs, who will always be there for me in my worst moments, will look out for me even when it's risky and will be able to tell me that things are wrong and saying NO. Yes, I have definitely encounter friends who would just want to use you and not want you anymore, those who pretend to be nice to you but talk behind your back a million times worst, and those who judge you but never tell.

Some may say I am naive to think that people actually look out for their friends. I realize that we are living in a world with cold-blooded people, who roam around us without a tinge of sympathy nor love, able to step and push away everything in their path to get what they want. Yes, even I do think of myself. Who doesn't? They say the only thing that can save you in the end is yourself.

I may have just lived for slightly more than 21 years, known more people as I grow older. But it does not stop me from making stupid and naive judgments that effects how I am and how I will be.

Even if we hate someone today, it does not mean we will not ask for their help tomorrow. You are at your worst when you hate someone in return. I know I haven't been a good friend, sometimes being too busy with stuff. But I do miss every single one of them, especially those who have made me the person I am today.

It might not just be the birthday wished that we get once a year, or the text messages we get occasionally. It is more than just holding hands, more than playing together. It is the friendship that holds the heart would mean the most.

I miss being a kid when there is nothing to worry about. No heartaches, no lies. But I look forward to the future, and everything that is ahead of me...

Thank you for being my friend, friends.