During my pregnancy days, I used to feel alright, and I loved to go to work. I had so much energy at times I even look forward to work. Pregnancy has really bring out the best in me, and I totally miss it.
Motherhood on the other hand has been different. I feel 'lighter' but I do feel tired at times. Sometimes I wonder why, but then I realized that I do not miss being pregnant, I miss having my baby with me all the time!!
When she was still in my womb, I was able to talk to her all the time, feel her movements and also 'hugging' her when I feel like it. But now I just get messages with pictures of her having fun without me and it just breaks my heart with a 'I want to be there too' feeling.
Sigh. I'm grateful for having such good help in taking care of Aleesya. If not because of that, I would have been quitting my job. I can't imagine sending Aleesya to nursery and having to wonder about her all day.
There are some days when working is so unbearable I just feel like laying on my bed with her. But everytime she smiles to me when I come home, all the tiredness that I feel will be wiped away and all I want is to repeat that smile across her face over and over again. I can even go on playing with her without sleeping after my night shifts and for me, that is HUGE!
I want to be a role model to my daughter, someone successful so that she can look up to me and be proud. That is why I am enduring my days working. It is surely not easy, but I'm hanging on :)