The Decision

Since my update about the wedding, many has asked me how and why I made that decision. Each time I'm asked with that question, I would smile and ask them why did they ask.

There are two most common answers that I get.

1. I'm just turning 24! I should live my life and wait a few more years before making a lifetime commitment

2. My relationship just passed the one year mark. How am I to decide if he's the one?

Many a times in life will you experience situations when you need to decide. Life is full of crossroads, and some people choose the long way through, while others take the short cut.

There is no right and wrong in life. There is just 'making it happen' and 'letting it go.'

I know and I've heard this a million times before, that I am still young and I should wait and live my life first. But how do you define living your life? I've passed the chapter in my life where I want to be just a kid and take everything lightly, I've passed that phase when everything is just a joke and you should just make a fool out of things, I've passed the phase of being immature and reckless and irresponsible.

This decision I made is not an overnight decision. I've thought of postponing it, or considering the fact that things might not be as it may seem, and I've listened to people's reasoning. But in the end, I turned to God, and I found my answer.

I read a blog recently about change, and now I am at that phase. I'm changing to be a responsible person, to own up for my own actions and to prove where I stand, insyaAllah. I know some people have every bad word in the world to throw at my face, but as a Muslim, I believe that everything is arranged according to what's planned way long before time. And if we can't find peace in that, it means we can't make peace with God's decision.

I don't decide years ago who I will be married to, and when for that matter. 10 years ago I was in a relationship with another man, who I thought was the love of my life, but then things changed and we grew apart, and I found a friend, a very good friend in him. I know it is impossible for us to be together ever, but friendship is something that remains. Have I foreseen this? Of cause I have not. I would never know, till that moment when God decides its time for us to part.

I found love, trust, care and security in this man I am going to marry, Farid. I know sometimes we don't see eye to eye, and our personality clashes like mad, but our differences made our relationship unique. I know right from the beginning that it wouldn't be easy to have a relationship with you, but we've made it through this far, and insyaAllah God willing we'll start a family together.

So to those who are asking, no I am not getting hitched because it is the 'right thing to do now' or 'the trend' or 'I'm so afraid of being apart.' Nope, not those stuff. I'm tying the knot to this man out of love and trust, and out of the blessings of all who loves us. And I decided this after 'consulting' with my heart, and God. And please pray for our future life together.

I read a blog by Miss Vivy and she asked us to answer one simple question, What do you want in life?

Her answer was simple, a balanced life.

And that is something I would want for my life too. And most of all, I want to be organized.

In 4 months I will graduate and become a wife at the same time. I'm super nervous, but somehow am feeling this tranquility I've never felt before. Finals are approaching which makes me super nervous, but my friends has been helping me a lot, and the wedding preparations are almost done. Maybe this wedding thing is getting into my head and I'm so particular about every single tiny detail of it. This is when being organized helped me, A LOT. I know I'm not really miss organized before, but maybe I've grown out of my clumsiness :)

The next few months will definitely not be easy for Farid and I, but with each other, we'll make it though, step by step, insyaAllah :)