Not An Angel

I'm not an angel, I'm not perfect, I will not and never be. If I am, why do I hurt people who loves me so much? Why do I get confused and act selfish?

A friend once told me, I can't make everyone happy.

But I want to make people happy. I love to see the people around me smile. But by doing that, sometimes it steals away my smile. I do not consider myself sacrificing. To sacrifice is bigger than that. People hurt themselves protecting the people they love, but would I do the same? Or would I just hurt them for my own benefit and pleasure?

I do feel guilty, there's a voice inside my head saying that I should not do this, should not say that. But my heart wants what the heart wants, and sometimes it's hard to decide.

Regardless, I'll try my best not to tarnish my family's name. My parents worked hard to be where they are right now, and I know it only takes a split second to take that away. I will try not to be the girl who follows her emotions, but a girl who thinks before she leaps, and considers before making decisions.

I'm not an angel, not pure, not stainless, not perfect. I'm just me.











Today I had a trip down the memory lane. I wonder what life would have been if I did not take that step that day. But I did, and I never regretted what I did, as though it ended, those were happy moments in my life. Thank you for being there for me, loving me.