Forgive Me

I'm lying in bed, tossing and turning trying to get some sleep. But my eyes fail me each time and I'm back to square one again. I tried counting sheep, I tried listening to music, I tried looking for people who might still be online at this very hour. Past 3am, guess not. Most of us either have class, or work, or anything at all tomorrow morning. But since the final year students are having the grand finale exam and we are not allowed to enter the wards, my days are practically holidays. Watched a movie with dearest Pink earlier today in Midvalley and tried to complete my case write up without any signs of success. Sigh.

So here I am, blogging.

Why can't I sleep?

Maybe cause of the unsettling feeling deep inside, that gives me the adrenaline rush and preventing my eyes from shutting down. Its not like I can't find another method to fall asleep, but I don't have access to it at this time at night. And my sore eye is still sore, so yea.

Why do we hurt the most the ones we love the most? Could it be because of the feeling of security to be just anyone and to bluntly say out your feelings, gives you every right to hurt that one person who cared for you the most?

I'm sorry.

Sometimes the people we love are the ones most difficult to be loved.

I find it very subjective, talking about feelings. I once asked a friend, if it is wrong to have a change it heart. He told me that what changes is lust, which is when you would want to opt for something better. But it takes much more to have a change of heart, as the heart has no eyes and cannot see. You may say I'm wronged for every single reason in the world, but why can't you say it to me?

There are people who don't have to choose. Would I want to choose to be a part of those people, and live life smoothly without a single bump? Or would I want to be adventurous and explore the possibilities of life.

I'm lucky, I've seen places in the world, known people from across the globe. The world revolves around much more things than stupid fights and arguments and heartbreaks. There's a world waiting to be explored, people waiting to be known, placed ready to be explored. Why bother about the things in life that will eventually pass you by?

What shapes you tomorrow is every single deed you do today.

I love you, always have, always will.