Post Partum

I've learned and seen patients with post partum depression during my psychiatry rotation when I was a medical student. Some people may say that 'meroyan' is just a myth and does not happen, but in reality it is something that is recognised as a medical condition that can happen to anyone.

I've been preparing for Baby's arrival with genuine excitement and in the same time palpitations. There are times when I question myself if I can be a good mother, will I be able to provide the needful for my child and will he/she grow up to be a good muslim? I know there is no answer to all these questions but what I have to do is to try try and try till I get it right.

I have a bunch of friends who has already been through the post partum period and according to them, post partum depression is as real as it gets! One of my friend's sister even developed the feeling of hatred towards her husband and filed for divorce, only to withdraw it back - thank goodness! One of my friend cried every single night for months and another just went adhedonia and refused to hold her baby!!!! 

You see, during pregnancy, a woman's body undergo a lot of changes. At the stage of delivery, the body has to endure pain that has never been experienced before, a pain that only a woman's body can go through, and after all that, the hormones in the body will go haywire and needed to be reset back to normal. 

The process of resetting the hormones along with managing the baby is the part where the mind will be in torture, and that is when post partum depression and baby blues happen.

To all husbands with pregnant or soon to be pregnant wives, please do not take advantage of this situation and seek other pleasures outside. Your wife needs you the most at that time, and all you can do is just endure her temper and play along. For all you know, she'll be better in no time.

As for me, every night I'm praying that I'll be fine. It really is scary, and Farid has limited leave that he can take to spend time with me and baby later. I'm scared that my emotion and thoughts will get out of control, I'm scared that I won't be who I am, who I should be. I'm scared.

But most women eventually get over these symptoms, and I'm praying hard to be one of them who gets it for only a brief moment or doesn't get it at all.