Tattoo

I know I shouldn't be doing this. In fact, I should not do anything else but to study for tomorrow's quiz. But I was driving home when this song came up on the radio and it got me walking down memory lane, to a time that was so different than what it is now, a time when people were different.

This song speaks so much of the feeling, that soft whisper that keeps on nagging at the back of my mind. A voice that is too difficult to shut down, as it means that I would have to be amnesic, and no, that won't happen, will it?

I know that I don't, and I cannot look at you the same way like I have before. Time has changed, and told us that what we shared has come to an end. But it was genuine, tho it was short. Short, and just sweet.

And let me pour what I have always felt here. Sometimes I do wonder the what ifs and the coulds that would be if things were different. But my destiny has always been there, and had been predetermined. It is not that we are not perfect, we were just not perfect for each other.

I can still recall everything we did together, and it brings laughter and tears at the same time. Things are definitely not the same without you by my side, but it doesn't mean that I can't do it on my own. I've learn how to stand on my two feet, I have been all along until you offered to hold my hand. But now, I'm relearning it. It is not easy, to let go of something that makes you feel so secure and safe, to the vulnerability and the possibility to trip and fall down anytime.

I can't look at you, in the eyes. It hurts to know that much of pain and sorrow I've put you through. But as always, it takes two to tango, and I'm not saying you're to blame totally. Both of us have our own pros and cons, and maybe it is too difficult for us to match that. Maybe, we'd fine the perfection alongside someone else, not each other. I have my share of faults too. And for that, I am sorry.

Everything happens for a reason. I met you, for a reason. Nothing in life is just 'simply'.

I hope that the anger and hate inside you has subsided, or if it has not, will, and someday we can be friends. I still remember the names you called me, the accusations to yelled to me. And I hated having to think about arguments over arguments which wont settle. I hate you, hated you. I don't anymore, because it is too tiring and it consumed the best out of me.



This song, is for you. I know we are no longer in each others life. But as I said, destiny has its way. It could be twisted, difficult and challenging. Even though I don't see you, you'll still be apart of me, like a tattoo. Who I am today, is because of those people who have been in my life, no matter if they stayed or not.

This part explains it all:

I'm sick of playing all of these games
It's not about taking sides
When I looked in the mirror, didn't deliver

It hurt enough to think that I could stop,
admit that I'm wrong
And then change my mind
Sorry but I gotta be strong
And leave you behind

I can't waste time so give it a moment
I realize, nothing's broken
No need to worry 'bout everything I've done
Live every second like it was my last one
Don't look back at a new direction
I loved you once, needed protection
You're still a part of everything I do
You're on my heart just like a tattoo

I'm happy now, like really happy. And I hope you will be too, no matter with who. I won't hate you anymore, and I pledge to try not to let you cross my mind again. I know it is not easy, but I'm trying to say STOP whenever they come, and turn to my every reason I should right now.

I just wish that one day we can smile and talk to each other, even if it is just as friends, cause you are a great friend to me.