Why Do I..

..... keep looking for memories which are long gone?
..... trying to hurt myself over and over again?
..... trying hard to understand things that I never could?
..... trying to untangle knots made by previous mistakes?
..... being so cold hearted?
..... finding it hard to forgive?
..... finding it hard to forget?
..... keep on blaming myself?
..... cry myself to sleep?
..... miss you though you're just there?