A simple letter

Dear grandfather,

As I write this, I'm at the house you used to live in, here in Melaka. Well, I'm not really sure if you'd recognize it if you see it now. Much has changed, even the front part that used to be wood is now bricks. I think they changed it, as wood is very hard to maintain, but I still miss the old house, the place where I used to play when I was a kid. The whole house has been turned into bricks, there are no longer the super duper tall steps to take as we arrive, nor the wide opening to the cemented kitchen. But it's still home.

Grandpa, I know I never met you before, but right now I really miss you. I never had the honour of knowing you, but daddy's stories about you seems so vivid that I think that I know you. I can laugh and cry and recall each story that has been told by daddy to us. Those stories were our bedtime stories when we were younger, and something to tell our friends about now. It feels like you never fully left us. I believe that if you were still here, you would have taught me a lot and scold me a lot too, for I was a very stubborn little girl. Maybe you too, would kiss me on my cheeks and forehead each time I arrive at the doorstep. Maybe, just maybe.

I wish I could have known you. Daddy said you had the dream of building a hospital, and that's why he became a doctor. I think that is also the reason why he insisted on kakak and me becoming doctors too. I hope that if you see me now, you would be proud and be able to held your head up high, seeing who I am now. I know I am just a medical student right now, but just wait. One day I'll become a doctor and I will continue your dreams, God willing. There hasn't been a single day that daddy does not remember you. He once told us that he remembers how you smell and we laughed together. I wished I could have that memory too, at least a feel of touching your hand or feeling you holding me tight.

Mummy said she only met you a few times, and that you were so sweet. I really wished I could have known you before. But I believe god loves you more, and that you are in a better place right now. I am sorry for sometimes I forget to pray for you, and sometimes I forget about you. I've never met you, but I want to love you. I hope if you see me now, you'll love me too.

Grandpa, I can see that nenek is happy when we are around her. I always miss being here too, as i really get pampered. But I will never be able to understand the sorrow that she keeps deep down in her heart. Somehow I know she misses you dearly, but she is unable to tell anyone or express it. The only cure is by seeing her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren grow up becoming successful people and loving her in return. I can never be as strong as her. She's a wonder woman I look up to. Simply amazing in her own ways.

I remember when moyang passed away in 2001, we were all shocked to receive the news. I cried all the way from Rawang. I was close to her and I always liked the way she holds me when I cry after being bullied by Kak Ani and Abg My. I miss her dearly too, and a lot has changed since then, here, in this house. That was the first time I ever lost a family member who is really close to me. Sometimes I am too complaisant being who I am now that I forget to appreciate people who are around me. For that, I am truly sorry.

Daddy has always taught us, no matter where we are, who we meet or who we become in the future, family is always the bond that we will need to maintain and treasure. Not everyone will be there for us in the time of need, but we have to be there for our family. He said you taught him that, and God willing, I will pass it on.

Grandpa, I miss you.

Love,

your granddaughter.